I am a mess.  Such a total mess.

A few weeks ago, I made a total dumb decision of foregoing my interview for Finland for an outing with the girls.  Why I did that? How the fuck do I know?  First thing that comes into mind is that I'm stupid as shit.

And earlier,

  Wala akong masabi kundi sobrang astig nitong araw na ito.  Una nakapaghanda ako ng maayos para sa busy-ness ng lunch.  Ay- bago pala nun, nakasalubong ko si Matthew sa Dk4 pagka-clock in ko.  Sabi nya sa akin, they've received a lot of emails from various guests saying that I was friendly, helpful, and make delicious crepes.  A little of it got ( Read more... )

I've had great years & I've been through some rough ones.  And these are the years that come Dec 31, I would have something to say about it like "Fvck, yeah!"  The tone would, of course, depend on what kind of time I had.

My 2016 was kind of different.  It's not monumental but I wouldn't say it's bad either.  I'd like to think of it as mellow.   ( Read more... )

I would like to apologize but I don't have anything for this entry.  Or I might have forgotten about it.  Should something come up I shall go back and edit it.

[Writing Challenge 4]

[Edit: September 4, 11:05PM

I would be lying if I say that I breezed through writing this entry.  I struggled so much that I had to put it off a day and do it the last minute just so I don't have to face it.  Now this seriously feels more like a writing exercise now compared to the first two 'writing challenges.']

Let me start by honestly ( Read more... )

Funny how I've been talking about heartbreak from the past, what?, four months?  I want to tell myself, "Shut up already."  (Surprisingly, I did multiple times).  And here I am going to write about it once again.  Well, enough digressing. On to my task ( Read more... )

I've been a blogging fiend.  While I don't really write professionally, I find wriing therapeutic and based on my entries lately it just proves this claim.  I wanted to do better (in writing frequently) not because I have an audience but I could use a good distraction.  I know for sure that this would also make good use of my brain that does ( Read more... )

You know how kids are when they don't get their way all the time?  I think I'm having that phase right now.  Before I went to culinary school, I thought of a plan and it's always in my head like a mantra.  Despite being ancient, it's one of those things that I don't forget because I took it to heart.  You know how Aria recites the name of the ( Read more... )

I guess it's true when they say that letting go is an art. Because like any other thing that has to do with creativity, I'm quite bad at it.

Our anatomy is one big catastrophe - it makes you feel things that you don't have any control of.  You tell your neurons to tell your feelings not to feel - sometimes it succeeds but most of the time it seems ( Read more... )

I wrote a long tirade of how my day was sucked by sadness during a moment of silence.  Seems like a chance to contemplate is actually a detriment to myself.

Then I deleted everything because I was jolted by a sudden realization that I am loved & way blessed than I have ever hoped for.