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i get tired of always saying how i feel so bad. now i dont exactly feel bad, i just feel sad. and that sucks.. i hate relationships, of any kind. i miss writing in this journal, i was thinking today about how i used to write alot.. and it helped me, so much. i remember when jay and i used to both write in them, that was always awesome, i miss that ( Read more... )

i am slowly losing my best friend, and it hurts worse than i could have ever imagined. seriously.

on another note, matt and i have been talking alot more.. we get along very well now, but i dont even want to think of us as anything other than just friends.

i'm so hurt, i havent been this hurt in so long and i cant tell anyone about it. i dont want to bother anyone or make anyones life hard. i just cry, like all the time. i feel worthless. someone just tell me they need me. not online not anything like that, i want to hear from one certain person, that he.. wants me.

well i couldn't tell you ( Read more... )

i dont know what to say anymore, im like.. numb to everything

i just wrote a whole fucking entry and livejournal deleted it. GRR

happy thanksgiving everyone.

alot of people have emailed me asking about me and jay, either tomorrow or this weekend, i will write something about it.

i never update anymore. i suck, i know. just nothing is happening, and what is happening isnt the best and i dont want to write because later, i probably wont want to be reminded of it.

back to boring ericka

it's 3:45 in the morning and out of a perfectly good sleep, i woke up.. and started thinking and i cant go back to sleep, so bad i just want to hear i love you.. so bad... i hate this feeling, i dont know what to do.

i just want a hug from you now.... it would just be nice to touch you...