happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeeee.. happy birthday to me.

seems like thats the best i can do, i guess if i really think about it, its just a birthday.

i am so confused. seriously.

do you love me or not?

who am i kidding? I AM HURT. i wake up through the night, thinking about him... he is the first thought in my head when i wake up, but it ISNT good, its more like the thoughts that haunt you. maybe i feel like this because i know i am right and i know i did not do anything to him. i mean i know i am better, i KNOW i am, but i just love him, and ( Read more... )

i'm so much better now. seriously, now i just wonder why i wasted all of that crying? lol

today i talked to someone, and they made me realize, stuff that maybe i already knew. i know i knew it, actually. if jay wants to leave me at this time, under conditions that he knows about, that just says that he is a loser, and he doesnt care. but oh well, its his loss, im doing so much better, dont get me wrong, i am still hurt and everything ( Read more... )

i've been in the hospital most of the day, i was in so much pain, the doctor sent me home and when i got here, i was WORSE so they brought me back, needless to say, i passed a kidney stone, they gave me so much pain medicine, i just woke up and its like a little after 7 at night ( Read more... )

it sucks to be accused of something that you know you didnt do....

i can't sleep, my mom gave me sleeping pills but they dont work for very long. i keep crying, i guess because... of what happened and how i didnt get to ask anything and i really dont know much, and i feel like i never will ( Read more... )

this big part of me, in a way, wants to get a phone call saying "ericka, im sorry and i love you, come see me" but i have a feeling it wont happen. i mean ive never loved ANYONE like i love him... and i sound pathetic, but i mean.. i didnt expect this AT ALL. i'm just... hurt.

i've been fighting a constant battle with myself these last few days, and i dont want to give him the pleasure of knowing he hurt me, but i just have to write, because everytime i try to talk to someone.. i started crying and i have to hang up. i think in a way i am mad at myself because i let myself believe that he loved me, and that he would not ( Read more... )