I feel so alone and awkward growing up without friends you'd think I'd be used to it but as I get older it seems to get harder and all I feel is pain I give my friendship and devotion and in return I'm left so empty I try so hard to be there for everyone I care about I just wish they could be there for me I'm left with my head in my hands tears in ( Read more... )

I admit it I miss you. Just to talk to you makes the days easier and my soul not so heavy. I know your trying to make things right and that my distance makes things easier. I can't help but worry, hope and care. I wish things were different I wish that for a few selfish hours we could just be and feel and know

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So it's been a month of my life being turned upside down. Right now I'm just existing as a paycheck. I never wanted to be the type of person who lived their lives and has nothing to contribute.
My soul feels lonely and my desires are screaming to be released but I realize that I must push them away and be what the world wants it's the only way to ( Read more... )

So the past few week have been utter hell. I got demoted and I can't get mgmt to talk to me. I'm back to killing myself at work to make ends meet. Everything is just shilt.
Where did I go wrong? What bad karma did I stir up to make things soo horrible? Why do the ppl I need right now in my life are soo distant or unapproachable. Its been a long ( Read more... )

Nightmares of choking on broken glass ppl at work doing weird things hope this torment ends soon

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So again it has been proven that my life is a total waste and I am destined for nothing spectacular so I sit hoping to drink myself into oblivion why does one even bother I can't provide for my family and can't even make them happy why am I really here

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So this weekend was a total bust and the person who suffered the most was my husband 2 years in a row now as usual my magic wand is permanently broken I can't even fix my own life much less make anyone else. :(

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Lammas the time for harvest...if what you sow does not come about it was never meant to be and should be let go... Done... Today a message .... where to go from here???

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So today another pile of crap can't seem to so do anything right feeling pretty useless 2 months of this is enough I'm ready for a break ... Every morning I wake up and drive in with a positive attitude and thoughts and I come home feeling like a piece of worthless shit.

I just want to forget about life for a while no bills no work no problems I ( Read more... )

Listening to my husband and his friend jam out work has been hectic had a minor melt down well major this saving the day shit sux a fat one... I think I'm gonna study for a bit

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