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My grandfather unexpectedly passed away this morning. He had gone into the hospital on monday and apparently was very sick. I wasnt very close to him but he is still my family so Ive been sad about it. Im not sure how I feel yet. Death never really hits me until I get to the funeral or am involved in some part of the arrangements. Or until Isit and ( Read more... )

After eating about 700 calories yesterday and working out for about an hour and a half Im down 3 lbs this morning!!!!! SERIOUS motivation! Happy Valentines Day and enjoy! Be careful with the candy though!



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Im beginning to hate my reflection again.. the roundness of my face when I smile. The huge ass that follows behind the rest of my body when I walk. I have to be stronger. IM SO SICK OF WEIGHING 150+ AND NOT BEING STRONG ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.I WILL BE THIN!I believe in speaking things into existence.

I had a slight binge last night... I need to stop hanging out in front of my tv in the living room. Its right next to the kitchen and I swear i just dream up things to eat sometimes. I ended up purging and goin to bed at like 9:30 to make sure I didnt eat anything. I woke up at like 2 am and had some water. Im down .5 a pound after that disaster. I ( Read more... )

I had a slight binge last night... I need to stop hanging out in front of my tv in the living room. Its right next to the kitchen and I swear i just dream up things to eat sometimes. I ended up purging and goin to bed at like 9:30 to make sure I didnt eat anything. I woke up at like 2 am and had some water. Im down .5 a pound after that disaster. I ( Read more... )

So Ive managed to down 600 calories already today when the plan was to not have anything. I probably burned between 550-650 calories at the gym so Im hopin I break even and Ill probaly do some more excercising later on tonight. But definately NO MORE FOOD!

I can feel myself losing control... its scary but in a good way.

Fasted yesterday, NOTHIN at all except liquids ( coffee, cranberry juice, water). It wasnt as hard as I thought it would be. I think Im goin to alternate between fasting and 500-700 cals a day. That way I wont be tempted to blow it all on a binge from starving for days.

I can never seem to get past 153, I reached it last weekend which was an all time low in this damn struggle. But it was fourth of July and food was everywhere! By the time I got back to school I was up to 157, today back down to 155. Im determined to get out of the damn 150's. Even if it kills me...