A relationship between Richard and I would be really dandy right about now. BUT today at work I was thinking about it and trying to talk to my sister about it...without actually talking about it. OKAY so im attached to Richard...like really attached. NOT obessive attached, but i really really care about him. He has become one of the most important ( Read more... )

my final thoughts for this cold christmas eve...

Rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe

10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately ( Read more... )

...im suicidal...there i said it ( Read more... )

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My mom and I went christmas tree shopping the other night and I believe I have never expirenced something more depressing...except maybe when I had to bury one of my closet friends.
one woman at the tree lot stated she wanted a "cute" tree. i imagine opening the door to her house and everything is ...cute... you know that kind of vomit cute ( Read more... )

...im so unloved today. no one loved me today. it sucks like a pornstar.

so doctor wont you pull the fucking plug? wont you cut the cord?
because you cant put the life back into this hospital ward

Alright I love Glassjaw...its crazy. Today was an okay day, Richard scored some good points with me. I wish he was nice to me like he was tonight all the time. Oh well...i can only hope for the best.


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OMG the month just gets worse and worse. Talked to Stephen today to see what was going on between us. We got into a fight...WAIT scratch that...I picked a fight with him yesterday. SO I texted him today...big mistake to see what was going on. We talked and then I asked him what he wanted out of "us" and he said that he wanted us to just be friends ( Read more... )

...this holiday fucking sucks. I don't wanna celebrate christmas. This whole fucking month sucks. FUCK everyone, why can't we all just get along?
...if life was perfect, I would be scared...since it's not, Im begging for my day to come. One day I won't wake up...
i'll be with travis.

i love you travis...i hate you santa.