i find myself greiving everyday for my lost child. The grief thats in my heart hurts so bad. 
The bond i had with my baby is none like i have ever had in my whole life.
it hurts but i try my best to carry on


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Feb 22, 2008 we lost our baby

that is all for now

Oh God, let this flame kindle in meOh God, let this flame kindle in me the assurance of your presence,
let it warm my soul so that I might find courage,
strength and hope in each hour that you walk with me.
Fill me with your light and guide Nashaun to that light eternal.
Amen.

 i went to school today though i didn't feel like it....i was kinda hoping to sleep in. I get to see papi tommorow, i miss him a whole lot


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Last weekend me and Chris went to Hillsdale mall and hung out and then we went to the library and KFC with his friend Esmerelda and we had fun. Esme was hella cool and she told me she might be pregnant too.

pictures


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i went to UCSF this morning because i noticed a little bleeding and i had some weird feeling in my stomach last night...turn out the baby is fine but it looks like a little shrimp....lol! the visit was uncomfrotable because they could not see the baby in my uterus with the regular little paddle thingy so they had to stick this long probe up my... ( Read more... )

oh my fucking gosh, pregnancy kind of sucks. i have hella naseua and i have really sore ass boobs....fuck it fucking hurts. It almost makes me wanna get my tubees tied

latest pics


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Okay so on the 16th i went to New Generations Clinic to get a retest on a urine sample that i took a week earlier. I went there and i peed in the little plastic cup and sat in the waiting room for sooooo long, then finally the counselor came to get me and sat me down in the therapy room. She asked me lots of questions and then she left me alone ( Read more... )

Life happens while you are making other plans....

Well i will be able to Chris this Saturday (hopefully if he doesn't fuck up from now until then). I'm excited but there has been a lot of drama going on lately...

First i have been feeling quesy and been throwing up since Jan 4th and i still get the same symptoms. On wednesday i was caught throwing up ( Read more... )

i wish i was  really numb, that i couldn't feel any pain at all and that i could just go through life like a robot not feeling anything at all. But i'm only human and because of that i feel every little pain through my body so bad that it's killing me on the inside.

i was dry heaving and gagging into the toilet this morning, i didn't throw up ( Read more... )

well today i will be going to the doctor at General Hospital to find out the results of my pregnancy test. I don't know if i really wanna know because it is so nerve racking.

Today's photo


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