One day they will find one Joshua Foust,
in his semi-successful suburban house
Lying lifeless in the tub-- water red,
on the wall a note that is simply read:

"So that's what you all think of me."

-chth

GET HIGH! IT'S COOL!
ALSO BUY AN IPOD!

-chth

I saw two things at work that stirred me up today; one of those things being the pure embodiment of the American spirit: An overweight eleven-year-old girl stuffing her face with no less than THREE boxes of French toast sticks from Burger King. Note the dripping syrup and whale of a mother who finds it cute ( Read more... )

Josh (To Anthony): "Paris and Nichole won free Burger King breakfast for a year."
Bart (Walking by): "Who did?"
Josh: "JESUS."

I roffled.

-chth

Today, as I was filling up less than one third of my car's gas tank, I began to think of how high the price of petroleum has risen. But then, as I was walking across the lot to pay the allocated ten dollars and one cent, I began to think of how much a gallon really is. That's a milk jug. If someone approached me at random and offered five milk jugs ( Read more... )

Hey guys, did you hear there's a new kid in town? That's right, the "emo" kid. I don't know if he likes anyone... he just sits in his room in the dark all day and cuts his wrists. On an unrelated note, I'm beating a dead horse.

For those of you who missed the obvious satire:

"Down the road, not across th str- SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. ( Read more... )

Here's an interesting conversation I had after making a light religious joke to someone other than the 'Him' depicted below:

Him: "What's the point to Jesus jokes? Why can't you make fun of Satan, or Buddha, or any other religions?"
Me: "Are you kidding? It's easy to poke fun at any religion, and those things are equally viable as targets."
Him: " ( Read more... )

Today, I was at work, handing out the bags for drive-through. A skinny, clueless-looking white female pulled up, got out her purse and asked blankly, "Did I pay yet?"

She obviously had paid, but I live in the moment, and now I had a decision to make. I could tell her the truth and leave her a bit embarrassed, or I could lie to her and have a ( Read more... )

The Buddy System

I grew up as the weird and skinny kid
big ugly glasses and shorts too short
I wasn't allowed to have any fun
it made perfect sense, cause I was the dork

We were only kids, right?I learned to tune out my so-called friends ( Read more... )

I am the First Fifty Digits of Pi

Pi day was yesterday, and I believe the song is old. Still clever, though.

-chth