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That fucking sucks. Livejournal just ate my entry. one that pleased me and refuses to be duplicated.
fuck.
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All the pretty words seem to have fled. Did i toss them into the gale? mute. immobile. only the sun hot on my face and always this wind. -
Depression
settled low and tight and i can feel the weight of it. i want to hide somehow. the utter stillness of the air eases some until i take a walk...and then a hush until the valley. a silence that crawls up my spine a little bit. mountains at 8,000 ft are not usually this still. somehow i think it's Jesus saying "hush, listen, be still". I talk to my ( Read more... ) -
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a little numb and forgetting. but the stars remind me. thousands...a whole sky. i don't want numb. i want stars like a sea of fireflys.
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It was not a suicide.
Hello again Livejournal...my refuge from the unspeakable. A place of words when I have been muzzled. I return to you with a heart heavy-laden with grief. Hands clutching wind and time. My heart a softer, yet firmer place than it has been in centuries. I lost you my love of my life...after the promises I mistook the twist of your words and you ( Read more... ) -
i actually think
i'm in love with him. probably always will love him even if i never see him again. -
I don't know
what true abuse is or what it means to bare one's teeth as one's very last weapon. I have felt life to be hard...especially these last few years...but what is that to homelessness? to the flight for one's life? to jumping at the breeze shaking the leaves ( Read more... ) -
i miss
the music of this world as i have gone deaf ( Read more... ) -
Letting you all know I'm alive
Yes, I still exist. Clinic, Work, and Class time = 68 hrs. per week plus studying. on top of that. 75 hrs. per week this summer between clinic and work. 0 days off between labor day and mid-august. 0 days off between now and mid-december (literally). Nazi's don't even cover this program. Unbelievable and often unethical. However, 100% of ( Read more... ) -
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i feel it a wonder of rare magnitude that so many of you are still here.
i have missed the distinctness of your flavors and the trueness of your words...so like the half-moon....the scent of sweetgrass.
thank you for blessing me.
me. gone from myself...but not entirely.