New relationship, BDSM, thoughts on dominance

[cirne]

[Note: I'll be touching on aspects of my sexuality in this post, specifically BDSM. If that bothers you, don't read.]

Comments

thank you

[eagle_fire]

i love You, Dani...it makes me so happy that You've come to a place of understanding how much it means to me to be able to do things for You.

[arielmorgan]

Curious.. I never saw you as a Dom, but switch sounds accurate. But that is another topic entirely! And we should really catch up in person one of these days xD

I read an article (or several) that touched on this topic, if I can find the links again I'll post them for you.

There's a certain amount of working through socially pre-imposed guilt/shame issues on both sides of the D/s fence.. I know I struggle with my own a lot.. It's an important lesson, no matter which role you're taking.

(It's funny, I was just sitting down to write on a related topic when I found your post. Interesting!)

[arielmorgan]

Ah. This is the one I was thinking of. (The article is gender specific-ish, but so is the site.) http://www.sensual-service.com/the-guide/woman-within/power-exchange-strong-women-in-chargecontrol-giving-power/

When a powerful/competent/leader type of woman gives power to a Dom, she acts as a ‘force multiplier’ such that the effect is NOT cumulative, but rather slightly (to drastically) exponential. As a “doer,” “leader,” “accomplisher type,” she can let herself put her energies into the details and not the big picture when she gives up control and all (or some) of the decision making. She gives to him the ‘big picture’ and redirects the energy/worry that might have been drained from her into the actions/activities/tasks she engages in (or is assigned by the Natural Dominant). This is the opposite of the ‘micro-management’ D/s relationship. He doesn’t worry about the details; he delegates (and

[aravistarkheena]

Sounds like Master David read Hegel's Slave Master dialectic. You should check it out too.

[softlykarou]

Brian has actually had some similar issues with asking me to do things (me being in an S role, which I do really enjoy). I'll share the comment from Master David if you don't mind. I think it's really interesting and a very well written entry.

[cirne]

Thank you! And of course you can share the comment. =) Share the entire entry, if you like.

[ulfrslady]

You've been around my Master and I a fair bit, I don't know how you view his behavior towards me but I've never seen it as rude. He usually says please and almost always says thank you. This kind of relationship is not just symmetrical, it's symbiotic. Neither dominance nor submission exists in a vacuum; each needs to other.