gah me siento sola y desesperada, pero no puedo explicar por que. a veces pienso que quiero tu ayuda pero cuando me lo das, arrepiento...abrazame...duerme conmigo...solo por 5 minutos.

well, i have a couple random thoughts on mind so...i went to work today (kmart) in a surprisingly good mood, though i assume it is due to the fact that i have been rather ill with bronchitis and today is the first day i have improved somewhat...but i was genuinely happy to be around people and the idea of some money flow. It was slow, and i was ( Read more... )

Well, i have been home about 3 weeks now...havasu hasnt changed a whole lot but i felt the need to update just for the simple fact that my journal hasnt been written in for months. theres things you dont know lots of things youve never seen me be. i am finding it quite delightful in torturing another friend, not in a mean cruel way, more of a joke ( Read more... )

someday everything will be like a fairy tale...surrounded by happy thoughts, and people that love me...and i wont worry about who is fighting with who, who is going out and breaking up (not that i ever much worried about that before) but it just simply wont exist...my family will either become whole or all of them will disappear....whichever comes ( Read more... )

Today is 8 months woohoo for me...as i sob that that leaves me less than 3 left.....well turns out the whore dance is not goin to happen...and just as i was getting good at it too. damn. oh well thats cool, but we arent going to go on our trip either so that sucks. I just got over food poisoning...extremely painful. I never relaized that when ( Read more... )

well i just found out today that i will be dancing in a local dance club show to raise money for a trip...it is fairly amusing because they are kind of showcasing me because im the blnd gringa...haha...im right in front and center...the dance is a 4 song with dirrty by christina, something in spanish by shakira, safri duo and something else i dont ( Read more... )

Well, i have changed my host families, as of sunday and am overall really happy with them, they are super buena onda. The boy is 15 and is heading for taiwan...but he is great, we are already close for the short time that i have known him, its cool too cuz he is really tall which is weird for mexicans and strong so he can carry me when i dont want ( Read more... )

well i am changing my family today, dont even know their names yet but hey thats cool....more than anything i just wanted to let out some frustration on the fact that mexicans hate me because im american and feel that if they confront me on the fact that my country is at war it will do some good....bastards. on top of that i have to pack everything ( Read more... )

The trip to Cancun was cancelled...the finally tell me that i will get a new family but that they dont know EXACTLY when...maybe 3 days before i go home will be nice, i try to write to the rotary in arizona to see if maybe they can apply a little pressure to these jerks, spend half an hour writing an email and trying not to use extremely foul ( Read more... )

two times in one day that must be a record for me...i am just so pissed off. i have been asking to change from this FUCKING house for 3 months and the rotary assholes keep stringing me along. Today my host mom tells me that if i dont clean her pool every day she will charge me 5 bucks for everyday i dont. and of which i have never stepped foot in ( Read more... )