Can the world just fuck off and leave me alone for a little bit? Please?

I don't want 'to want' anymore. No Dreams lately, thank god. I'm not sure that I could take anymore mental fuckery. My 'quarantine' is over so I am hopefully going to get a new cat soon. Looking back 10 years ago to letters that I wrote to myself I see just how much I have/n't changed. Part of me wants to go back and kick myself in the balls, the ( Read more... )

Efforts to distract myself have been mostly effective. I ploughed through 25% of A Clash Of Kings yesterday. It's hard though, every time I've gone down to get a drink I've expected to hear him meow for some food. Then he used to come up for a sit on me in font of the computer and now that will never happen again. I will never have another cat like ( Read more... )

I'm sorry old friend.

I can't ever remember the dreams I have anymore.

I don't even like the good dreams I have any more. Minecraft, The Ordinary Boys and kissing. I don't even know.

Lying in bed think about the past 15 or so years of my life I made the realisation that I've been back at my old engineering job for longer than I was at Tewkesbury. Strange to think that, it only feels like a fraction of the time. Maybe my perception of time is changing as I grow older, it was the best part of a decade ago that I started up there ( Read more... )

A nights ago it was pictures of butchered bodies after some kind of massacre, last night it was zombies in a rather less realistic fashion. Still not liking them.

I had a dream last night, Donna was in it. Been thinking about her for some reason lately. I've missed seeing her I guess. We were in some kind of pub and she had to sit next to a guy with a big white turkey on her lap which she didn't like (WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN?!?!) so we went outside where there was this kind of cliff top theatre ( Read more... )

I sit here suffering from some kind of infection in my head. It's making concentration difficult as I am feeling constantly drunk and disorientated. I can't sleep, the sun has come back up and the dawn chorus has started. I'm feeling very disturbed at the moment, thinking about the past and how the present could have been so different if a few ( Read more... )