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fuck you
hey, so i got to new york today, waited around for my ex boyfriend to show up, with the dog i love too much to give to him but had to anyway. he shows up very very late, claims to have no idea what time it is, and wow! he's been snorting heroin in a warehouse in brooklyn for 2 days now, and god knows what else. awesome. i am kicking myself right ( Read more... ) -
the end is coming...
what kind of bullshit is this? i wake up to threatening messages about a dog that isn't mine being taken care of by everyone but the person who should be taking care of him. awesome. i'm tempted to call susan and tell her to yes, put the dog in boarding for the weekend, and yes, find him a new home, because i'm worried about him if he goes back to ( Read more... ) -
"you're a good person, you deserve to have good things happen..."
it's a choice, pretending things are normal, having dinner, talking to people, driving around, getting things done, keeping it all hidden away for private times when no one will see. between that and letting all the craziness flood in, going outside and screaming, ripping my body apart so it matches my inside more, making absolutely no sense to ( Read more... ) -
people are stupid
first the dog puked a lot. then toby puked a lot. now they are both sickly and pukey, and i'm having a spz attack from driving through the tunnel and in crazy traffic in the city. and i am sposed to get up to take luca to get his balls chopped at 7:30 tomorrow morning. i hate everything. -
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got drunk for free dressed as a naughty schoolgirl. or something. my version of a naughty schoolgirl, which apparently looked more like a stripper dressed as a naughty schoolgirl. but that works too. got into bed at 5, then remembered i forgot to move my car and would probably be towed if i didn't, so got up and drove around for more than an hour ( Read more... ) -
why can't my thoughts be just mine
i wake up pissed off, i think because i'm having bad dreams of him leaving me, for other places or other people or just 'cause i suck and he's sick of dealing with it. i wake up depressed, or pissed off, or so sad that i have to get up into the same world i left yesterday, that nothing has changed, or not for the better, and things are messier and ( Read more... ) -
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i feel strange today. i feel antsy and irritable and displaced. but by what and to where i have no idea. i feel like i want everyone else to be quiet or not be stupid, and to realize something about me that i don't even know. i want to be someone else. i want to disappear. i want to be myself being a genius. i want to have sex for 10 hours straight ( Read more... ) -
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it seems my hot tranny boyfriend has suddenly remembered that we are hot and sexy, especially together. that would be fun ( Read more... ) -
oh, the hypocrisy
as someone who smoked (s?) off and on for years, and doesn't like to preach to anyone else about their personal habits, i am stuck. i have had more ear infections since living in a smoking house for 2 months than in the rest of my life altogether. my lovely boyfriend is cat allergic and wants me to do something about that, which i think means ( Read more... ) -
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i cut them off. my dreads are gone ( Read more... )