Ghost Light
Previous: Battlefield
Ghost Light
Wow. Haunting organ music, women in black, Completely Unexplained Bird in the foreground, you'd think this was going to be a ghost story.
*TARDIS lands*
"Professor...30-second penalty."
For landing the TARDIS inside a house?
Okay. Whatever else happens in this story can't POSSIBLY weird me out more than the image of Seven riding a rocking horse.
"Excuse my friend, she comes from a less civilized climb."
"What do you want me to do, wrap up in a curtain?"
"Be quiet, noble savage..."
Guys, there is not a single thing normal about this house. Taxidermy EVERYWHERE, a crazed explorer, Maidservants Of The Night...
...and have I mentioned that we're only 10 minutes in and Seven's ALREADY been threatened with a hunting rifle?
"Sir, I think Mr. Matthews is confused."
"Never mind, I'll have him completely bewildered by the time I'm finished."
"I'll help."
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING! How did I NOT notice we were missing that?
That...that was the GREATEST Soundtrack Dissonance. Ace putting on a dress, light pretty music plays, man SCREAMS IN HORROR...
"He's a Neanderthal, isn't he?"
"The finest specimen this side of the Stone Age."
And also from space, apparently.
"You tricked me...THIS IS PERIVALE!" Oh crudmonkeys, backstory references to stuff I haven't seen yet...
More Soundtrack Dissonance: Man is chloroformed while a sprightly tune rings from the piano.
AND the tune continues as the ACTUAL soundtrack cuts in with a haunting sting to accompany Ace's horrifying recollection. Seriously, what?
"My roots are in this house, I'm as human as you are." No you're not. You're just...not.
OKAY HELLO WHAT PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THOSE MUTANT THINGS ARE.
So we've got what looks like a reptilian Omega and one of those fly-people from Planet of the Dead (which I still haven't watched yet).
OKAY. WAIT A SECOND. THERE IS A DEAD BODY IN A DRAWER AND NOBODY IS TAKING ANY SPECIAL NOTICE OF IT.
Remember what I said earlier about "nothing in this story can weird me out more than Seven on a rocking horse?" Yeah. Scratch that. A lot.
"Sorry to spoil your big game hunt, but Ace needs my..."
*confronted by a flank of maids with guns*
"...help..."
Leave it to the Doctor to use a radiation detector as a fake gun to hold someone hostage to save his companion.
"Ace, you haven't been tampering?"
"It was an accident!"
"All my work could be RUINED!"
"That's my girl."
What do those things have against Seven's tie? I kinda like paisley.
"Man has been the same, sir, since he stood in the Garden of Eden and he was never, ever, a chattering, jibbering ape." *eats banana*
"Time to call out the constabularies." *Seven opens a drawer with a "dead" police man inside* ......I COULD NOT MAKE THAT UP IF I TRIED.
Well at least they explained it a couple scenes later.
"Professor, where's Nimrod?"
"Gone to see a man about a god."
I never did understand what the original statement meant...
"All civilizations start with hunting a foraging, but don't worry, you'll soon work your way up." Wait. Seven + beetle = strangely adorable?
I guess you just had to be there.
There's a woman in rags and screaming and doors that electrify people WHAT IS GOING ON.
And of course Seven explains everything in about 20 seconds.
Oh WOW. When TV Tropes listed Light as Camp Gay, they were ALL KINDS OF NOT KIDDING. Seriously...that guy's VOICE...
BRB, laughing forever.
Okay, seriously, what IS it with McCoy turning into a GIGANTIC ham every time he does tiemrage? I mean, that's just straight-up overacting.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Large Hams but...there's a right and a wrong way to do it.
Well, at least everything else about his performance is made of awesome.
And, to be fair, in this scene he's fighting an enemy that "travels at the speed of thought," so he kinda HAS to be gurny.
So they don't yet have the effects to show all the taxidermy coming to life so they just tint the whole image red? Seriously?
"Oh, things are getting out of control. Even *I* can't play this many games at once!!!"
"I wanted to see how it worked. So I dismantled it." OH GOD I'VE SEEN THAT SHOT A MILLION TIMES I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A SEVERED ARM.
"Go on, try again: The rain in Spain...goes mainly down the drain."
Okay, maybe that was a cockroach from earlier, not a beetle. Maybe it has the same symbolism here as it did in Heroes.
"You change, adapt, all the time. Your attitude, your place, your mind..." your voice...
"So I burned the house down."
"Any regrets?"
"Yeah."
"Yes?"
"I wish I'd blown it up instead."
"...'Wicked'."
So my end reaction to this story can best be summed up as WHAAAAAAAT.
I know it gets panned a lot, but I don't think it was really BAD so much as confusing and REALLY REALLY creepy.
Next: The Curse of Fenric