nothing is ever changing. i've been holding the same routine all year.
i'd like to stir it up, but i can't seem to find the right stick.

i can spend hours ( Read more... )

there are plenty of things i'd like right now.
none of which i will get.

lots to reflect on. the completion of culinary school. one of the most monumental moments in my life. it's still incredibly surreal and hasn't really hit me yet. it's even kind of scary because now i actually need to apply myself in the real world - something that i usually don't follow through on. i'm still not sure what i want to do and am really ( Read more... )

yawr was spectacular. so much more than i could have ever imagined. there was no way for me to foresee how amazing that retreat would end up. and maybe because everyone was like minded, and there were no straight edge - holier than though downers. i think that was the most productive drunk i've been in my life. i also got to experience a lot more ( Read more... )

if lawren miller goes to yawr it may quite possibly toss me out of this "i just don't wanna!" inner whine fest. i know it'll be fun either way but after all the vacationing i'm just really not in the mood to sit around and stare at people in the freezing cold. there are a small handful of good friends that i know would make it worth it, but ( Read more... )

it's hard to sum up a year. or idle on thoughts about the last three hundred or so days. usually i'm lacking any sort of appreciation for the past year, and eagerly await the new year - a fuck you sort of c'est la vie. but twenty ten has been extremely kind to me. i've accomplished the completion of college, with honors. have explored new people, ( Read more... )

all this cocaine has given me chapped lips. not so cute. and neither is snorting lines in the bathroom of a gay bar off the back of a toilet with three dykes while your girlfriend is drunk and making out with your ex-roommate. i think it's safe to say that i've been getting myself into a tad bit of trouble lately. this really makes me sound like a ( Read more... )

i'd like to drive. somewhere. i'm not really picky on the location, but it would be nice to just drive around in circles. what it boils down to is that i have no idea what i'm doing or really how to properly go about these types of situations. so maybe i shouldn't have mentioned the scratches on my back, or anything really at all. i just wish she ( Read more... )

Like a coin into water, I let them drift into my shadows. There they sit, buried, smothered, formed anew by the pressures of my sub-conscience. They cannot breath, they cannot move, they will not die. Sometimes a finger of light stirs their navy blue center. My memories.