It's come to my attention that I've been somewhat more reclusive than usual. That I have not contacted people, well its true. I have been far less than faithful to those indaviduals with whom I've shared a close personal friendship. Well with reguards to that, I'm sorry, but thats not gonna change a whole lot. I find the loss of our time together a ( Read more... )

I find myself once more walking that empty road I call my soul. traveling down the center line looking towards either side and knowing that for me there is no choice but to continue down the balanced path. Yet that alone doesn't lower my spirits quite like the occasional curve I'm thrown. Why cant people learn to accept me as I am? To accept that ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Had an amazing time last night seeing the Airborne toxic event at HoB. Brian and me roled up and really enjoyed the show. the opening band was also pretty good which made it doubly excellent. I realize now that I do enjoy going to concerts and need to get out more. So im definetly gonna watch the concert venues now to see some more shows. other ( Read more... )

So, yes it has been way too long since I last updated this thing, mostly due to the fact that I dont have net and have to look for wifi. But reguardless heres an update so far. Work sucks more and more, lifes good with Amber, moneys still the thorn in my side. Got a plan to finally go back to school, eventually. Mostly I'm just taking it one day at ( Read more... )

So this past weekend was a perfect one for me. I spent it in the arms of my truest love in utter happiness. Shopping at jaimie's, was great tho the prices of certain things shocked me like no other, showing me how hard times really are. Then it was time alone together with my amber for all the rest of the weekend until we had to go to my father's ( Read more... )

I love that at last I've heard those six little words that make me happier than a god. I feel as if I could give the ufcw champ a run. (prob get my ass handed to me but oh well) Planning for vacation in S.C. are in the works, looking forward to possibly seeing my lovely N.C. update more later.....p.s. I FUCKING LOVE YOU AMBER!!!!!!!!

I find myself wishing for death once more, so as to alleviate this pain within my heart. I wish I could say I'm sorry, but why must I always be the one to bend a knee. All I've ever wanted was to find a love that could accept me as I am. As greatly flawed and horribly broken as I am. I know that I'm cold and often seem uncaring, but why cant it be ( Read more... )

So this weekend I've spent alone, and although I spent most of it working through another bout of my issues, I have never felt so alone. It amazes me to know that I am so in love with someone that being without her makes me feel like im dying inside. Shes the one. I finally realize that I never want to be without her in my life entirely.

Watching the breakfast club reminds me of just how great the 80's were, almost as much as american psycho. I wish I could have been been old enough to really enjoy those times. I miss the 80's style and music and life in general.