Inconceivable: 2 sonnets and 1 song (LJi s8e5)

[cloworora]

Act I - Sonnet

When we were all young with our fullest hearts
He was quieter than most, fearful of fate
What of girls, made of all fixed, baffling parts?
The signs were clear; everyone assumed him straight
He grew into closeted desire and pride
His father’s domineering gaze, naming crime
The classes filled with couples as he died
What did his father want

Comments

[dblicher]

Nicely executed.

[cloworora]

Thanks for the compliments and thanks for reading!

[lawchicky]

So much skill here! I really envy those who can write poetry so well.

[cloworora]

My wife has stated that I'm a better poet than I am writer of prose; I'm not sure I agree with that, but, considering my conflicting feelings with my writing (especially my poetry), it was nice to hear. Thank you for your kind words and thank you for reading.

[myrna_bird]

Big sigh...how lovely, understanding, forgivness and love once again. Beautiful.

[cloworora]

Yeah, it is very cyclic. It needed that closure. Thank you for reading!

[vik_thor]

Very nice. Sad in the beginning but the ending was very joyful.

[cloworora]

I couldn't not give the protagonist some source of happiness after what I'd just put him through! Poor guy! Thanks for reading.

[sweeny_todd]

a couple'o things. Strong work - that first stanza is so sad, and so stirring. I really, really like this!

and I LOVE that you quoted from Cowboy Bebop *two thumbs up*

[cloworora]

I've always found "Dr. Londez"'s words in that episode to be so dark and unsettling, in that maybe-more-true-than-not sort of way. I do feel the first sonnet is the strongest bit. Thanks for reading!