-
Tell
Last night I walked with a friend of mine to get some milk and cigs. Ended up with an energy drink, a pint of skim milk and a pack of cigarettes. I didn't do anything wrong. I know that. But, not having planned to buy the energy drink is sitting with me wrong. I have so much to organize and accomplish in the next few days and I am strapped for cash ( Read more... ) -
How is this possible?
I slept through my classes today, woke up at 5:10pm, weighed myself and was higher than yesterday, when I've been fasting for four days. I lost almost five pounds the first day of fasting, but then proceeded to not lose anything for the next three days ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I woke up late and feeling strange today. Not weak exactly, and not sick. Just... strange in a way I cannot quite describe. I then proceeded to drink most of a bottle of water and felt a little better, then coffee with minute amounts of skim milk and felt even better - although now, ironically enough, whilst still drinking coffee I AM TIRED ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I might be going bowling in about an hour... yes, it's late, but it's also the weekend (THANK GOD). I've successfully fasted for today and I do not expect to break that fast, under any circumstances, tonight. Plus, bolwing-place food... that has to be absolutely disgusting (as well as horrible for you ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Being a failure for the past weeks or so has made me realize just how much I absolutely hate the absence of hunger. I can't do without the feeling of hunger. It's just a part of what makes me feel like I am succeeding at something and actually worthwhile ( Read more... ) -
BLOG?
I created a blog. Nobody reads it, but I figured I would put a link to it here and someone, maybe, might read and have a comment for me eventually. That would probably feel good ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I've noticed that I avoid certain words when I am writing in my paper book now... like "food" or "fat" or "eating", instead I tend to say "things", "big" and "consuming"... it's both more clinical (the last) and more subtle (the first two). I don't know why that is, but those words really make me uncomfortable when I write them down about myself. ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm looking at food online... I think I finally understand the concept of "Food Porn". Wow. I don't feel any desire to eat, today being day two of my fast, but I find each of these confections that I have come across absolutely gorgeous and inspiring. Makes me want to bake. I used to bake all the time. That and box. Now my hands are messed up from ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm back down to 112.8 tonight. I feel much better and I know that tomorrow I will wake up much lighter than I am today ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Yesterday morning I woke up at 112.2... then I gorged at a convention.... 115.4.... I wonder what I am this morning ( Read more... )