While your extremely loud screaming match was entertaining in a trainwreck sort of way for about five minutes, we are now going on about 25 minutes. Must you air your dirty laundry directly in front of my building, on a hot spring day when all the windows are open ( Read more... )

I have a grownup blog now:

The Illegiterati.

I'll be writing largely about my neverending fascination / obsession with other people's religion. Pop by and give us some page views.

I just spent the better part of an hour putzing around on iTunes (where, no lie, every single album has four stars) and could barely find a thing I wanted to buy. I could barely THINK of something I was interested in, such is my apathy towards current music. I ended up buying something new and something old for the road trip to San Francisco, but ( Read more... )

Ugh. A telemarketer just called, and when I said no thanks to his little speech, asked if my mom or dad were home. So I yelled some about being an independent woman and hung up on him.

As I walked down the street eating my sandwich*, I walked past a club and passed a guy wearing the Douche Uniform: blazer with factory-ripped jeans. And right as I went by, he did something on his cell phone, closed it and said, "It's LA. It's an LA thing." I have the desire to punch strangers all the time, and this guy was no exception ( Read more... )

An ad heard on the radio this morning: "And finally, we've discovered a way to give her BOTH diamonds AND chocolate!"

Yes, it's true. Both are freely for sale, thanks to capitalism.

Meme from Dan (aka mixmaster_morty). What, you wanted content?
( Read more... )

TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS WHEN IT RAINS.

I know the water falling from the sky is unusual and a little scary, but can you keep it together enough to do this one thing for me?

Anyone who has ever spoken to me has eventually discovered my deep fascination with all things R. Kelly. If pressed, I might know all the words to "Ignition," and most of the words to "Trapped in the Closet." Without further ado, YouTube has brought us this:

Click to view

Please note that he is wearing a hooded sweatshirt emblazoned with sparkly opera masks ( Read more... )

Today I found that my boyfriend of nearly four (!) years, who I live with and who I see every day, is allergic to tarantulas.

CLARIFICATION: This is newsworthy because he's known this entire time, but somehow never mentioned it before. How do you not just talk about that constantly? I would.