I think I may have lost my mind.

I keep thinking that if life is this bad, it can only get better, yet it persists on getting worse.

I'm still young, but it doesn't seem to matter at all. I'm dead inside. I'm old and bitter. I'm a failure. I'm alone and ugly and stupid and untalented. And I wish I could just die right fucking now.

I hate everything.

L I F E W I L L K I L L Y O U

I wish I could write so vulnerably as this, but I'm too ashamed and self-conscious. I'm too afraid of what you'll think of me. I'm too afraid of being thought of as fishing for compliments. I don't want to deal with the ego boosting conversations or the depression interventions. If I could write myself right now, it would be this ( Read more... )

I feel like I am carrying around a burden right now ( Read more... )

displacedi rummaged through the year ( Read more... )

I seem to be unable to sleep tonight. I am very scared. I miss being happy. I miss the summer. I miss the Lower East Side. I miss a lot of things. I really need something to get better very soon. I need some inspiration. I can't be a self-generating machine for much longer. I need to do a show. I need to make enough money to save some. I ( Read more... )

Year 2007 roundup ( Read more... )

It's been some time. That's not good. Ah well. This is more stream. I'm scared. I'm lonely. I want to kiss someone very badly. I want to fuck someone very badly. It seems that my tastes have changed. But at the same time they haven't. But I do want to feel some girl up who dresses like a girl. I guess I want a woman. But I keep finding ( Read more... )

I'm very sad right now. I don't feel upset. Just sad. Maybe I'm homesick. I miss how simple things were when I was younger. I'm listening to Jimmy Eat World. Earlier, I was listening to The Jealous Sound. I miss being an emo kid, living in my mother's dining room. I miss it. I didn't write very much this week. I'm not sure if I care. I ( Read more... )