Kt talked to me about the post, and I belive I need to clarify some things ( Read more... )

These are my thoughts from today. They aren't directed at everyone, but at some. And mainly, this is so that I can figure things out for myself and get them out of my head ( Read more... )

I had a good day ( Read more... )

I wrote. I wrote and I wrote and I cried. I sobbed until there were no tears left.
Pages and pages of emotion. Of dead feelings. Of betrayal.
Pages filled with confusion. Laced with hate. Dusted with tears. Ending with grief.

"With all my said unsaids"...
The letters I wrote him, but never sent that outlined my earlier pain. Nothing compared to ( Read more... )

 A living nightmare, asleep but still aware.
The endless torture.
I grasp myself.
Trying to regain control.
I experience and learn.
In another faction of my mind.
So confused.
But everything makes perfect sense.
Can't feel the pain.
Emotional pain's so much deadlier.
Lost, you've just been raped.
Pain. Your friends can't help you.
Why wont they help you? ( Read more... )

My hands are trembling. My breathing doesn't seem to be steady. I called him. "It was a misunderstanding, sweety."[he fucking called me sweety...]"You were alseep.""You said yes." He believes this. He honestly doesn't think anything happened. How could he twist it so much? Why is is doing this? How can he even think that? Silent tears stream down ( Read more... )

I hate feeling helpless.

You know whats funny? The thing that I am most worried about is that this whole ordeal is going to mess up Andy's and my relationship. And I think that if that happened, that I really would hate him.

Ben's driving up on Wednesday to see me for a couple of hours.

Jeanne hasn't emailed me back.

I don't know if I ( Read more... )

Spring Break Highlights:
Getting coloring books from Andy for my birthday.
Seeing Andy every day
Spending time with KT
Playing with Captain Jack
Getting a car that I can use this summer (a white 1996 Pontiac of some kind. white. v6 engine)
Watching Rocky Horror with KT, Ryan, and Andy, and falling asleep in Andy's arms
Getting from Andy's house ( Read more... )

My God ( Read more... )

( Read more... )