Alright, so I spend a lot of time on computers, and when I get bored with the internet I do stupid stuff. When that stupid stuff isn't browsing file sharing programs for videos of grandmas falling down while I enjoy the rad guitar stylings of Swedish rock god Yngwie Malmsteen (and sometimes Dokken), it's other stupid stuff. One of my recent e- ( Read more... )

My roommate is an albino diabetic. During the day he likes to rock out to Linkin Park with the dorm door open, so that everyone in the halls can not understand his pain. Then he tones it down a bit with some bad trance and discusses with me the "blazing speeds" at which he's transferring 5 gigs of his pirated anime and asian porn from his desktop ( Read more... )

Kidz Bop 6 is out! Buy it now and hear a chorus of boys and girls ages ten to twelve singing your favorite pop songs.

I think my favorite is Toxic. Give it a listen.

I was talking (writing Friendster messages) to Anthrochica about J.Rock trying to set me up with some cute 30 year old friend of hers (who apparently likes 'younger dudes') while I was in New York. Anthrochica said, "...30 years old is way too old for you ( Read more... )

I whipped up a flow while working tonight. I'm considering several titles for it. I may name it Astronomical Anal, or simply Space Bitches. It's basically an autobiographical piece. I want to write a few more verses and then record it, because it doesn't read as well as it flows when you hear it. If you know me and see me sometime soon, ask me to ( Read more... )

I went to a reunion at my elementary school (Bear Branch Elementary) on Friday. Collar up and aviators on, I felt stylish, like Carrie Fisher in 1978's Star Wars TV Holiday Special. There's a certain charm in attending such an event under the influence of a generous dose of painkillers. A certain sleazy chutzpah-laden charm ( Read more... )

Saturday night I hung out at my friend Kari's house for a few hours. She mentioned something about sexual text messages that I had sent to her phone Friday night. I had not sent any such messages. The messages she received read as follows ( Read more... )

Lip gloss and scratched up eyeglasses were left in the back seat of my car last night. If you rode in the red Accord, call (713)894-6347. There will be a holding fee.

I also found that my boxers had a hole burnt into them.