Nobody can hurt me
when I've nobody to love
when I've love to give to nobody
when I don't give myself a chance
to love and to be loved.
Like a mother loving his dead baby
what's the use of
sending the baby favorite's toy
to its grave?
It would make the innocent child
cry even harder
because it can't play with it anymore,
even though the toy is given to him
even ( Read more... )

I asked Susan to MMS me the new diary she just bought at Clarke Quay's Flea Market. The picture inspired me to write this poem, and I freak out myself. Hehe.
Don't bother me, heart
for your breath stinks
and your tears are frozen.
Death.
Bring me closer to it.
I look alive
but deep inside I'm dead.
My love, feelings and dreams
were killed by fate.
My room is ( Read more... )

Cousin Daniel's wife, Conny, will register me to the Nokia photo rally. Yay! I went to Roxy Mas with Mom and Tante to re-install CameraFX on my phone. It shows error sometimes, but that's okay. I may need the software for the contest.
Dad and I talk to each other again, but I'm still afraid of having some frictions again. I love my father and I can' ( Read more... )

I tried to talk to Dad. We didn't get any progress, but another fight. Mom hopes that I'd understand that he's depressed. 'scuse me, is he the only depressed human being in this house?
I told Dad that he's changed and he makes me don't feel home here. Usually he cried when he saw me crying, then we forgave and hugged each other - but not today. My ( Read more... )

New things are exciting,
but sometimes old things are better.
New friends are exciting,
but the old ones understand us better.
New belongings are exciting,
but the things we kept for years have greater sentimental value.
New songs are exciting,
but those old melodies we love would stay forever.
Newbies are exciting because they are new.
Oldies are goodies ( Read more... )

I will never beg anyone to be my friend.
I will never beg anyone to like me.
I will never beg anyone to listen to me.
I will never beg anyone to make me happy.
I will never beg anyone to choose me.
I will never beg anyone to love me.
I will never beg anyone to understand me.
I will never beg anyone to remember that I am human,
that I have feelings.
I will ( Read more... )

I don't believe in rose.
I don't believe in its beauty and pain.
I don't believe in men.
I don't believe in their heart and poison.
I don't believe in love.
I don't believe in its hopes and promises.
I don't believe in myself.
I'm not a rose,
I don't attract men,
I don't deserve their love.

Boring. Boring. Boring. But I'm looking forward to meet Polim tomorrow. He said he's going to visit me, but I know he likes to cancel. Hehe. Yudi also called. He wanted to meet me after 12 tomorrow outside. I don't think I'd go :\
JF is being a family man this evening. He cooked tenderloin steak and french fries for his son. His daughter is staying ( Read more... )

Thinking of yesterday, I'm proud of myself. Well, strange reason to be proud of - but I am. JF told me many times that he's so much liked by girls here, and I told him as many times as he did that I wanted to make things clear that I only want to be his friend.
It's not a trick or a strategy I am doing now. I just want to protect myself, my heart ( Read more... )

I was so happy last night! JF picked me up before 21:00 and I was so impressed that he could reach here without a problem! We went to his apartment, he took shower, had dinner that was made by his maid, showed me the pictures of his kids, girls he met, we chatted (he loves talking!) then we went to Cinnabar.
It was my first time. The place is very ( Read more... )