“We have to hurry,” she whispered to him, breathless from the danger and the tightness of her dress, “my kids will be home soon.” He stirred as she slipped her house key into the lock, deft and graceful. It slipped in without resistance and she turned the knob noiselessly, the door swinging open and revealing the perfect suburban home. The kind ( Read more... )

I've got an absolute fucking bitch of a headache. The kind were it feels like I've got something fairly largish swirling a bunch of three inch thick tentacles around in my gray matter. The only thing that works on this leggy bastard is drugging the absolute shit out of it, the pharmaceutical equivalent of beating my brain with a rusty crowbar ( Read more... )

This morning I woke up in the body of a fat bag of a hooker somewhere east of Poughkeepsie, Arkansas. My ratted hair was full of something slick that felt disturbingly like AstroGlide, and I had someone’s underwear stuck to my ass, but given the state of the room I was in I couldn’t be certain it was my own. There was an old man with hairy ankles ( Read more... )

At one o'clock this afternoon, I was laying on my back, naked as the day I was born, with 10 or 15 hair-thin needles sticking out of my belly, legs and feet. On my right side, was Sara, a tall, blonde Sufi, graying at her temples, cross-legged and barefoot taking notes on the flow of energy through my body. And all I could think about, besides a ( Read more... )

And it begins. The itching, like hatchling spiders in her fingers. Hot, fast spiders. Lightening spiders. She tries to quiet them, intently eating a gas station banana, its overripe brown sliding slick and sweet down her throat, but the spiders increased their frenzied scuttling and her fingers grew itchier ( Read more... )

Every year since I was 15 or so, it has taken an extra 12 to 24 hours for me to get excited about the holidays. It's thirteen days before Christmas and I'm still waiting to be really amped for it. Right now the house is about 1/4 cleaned and 1/2 decorated. 99% of the gift shopping is done, 0% of the grocery shopping is done. Nothing is wrapped ( Read more... )

I want to play god ( Read more... )

Last night I dreamt I was in Hell. And Hell, as I have always suspected, and as it turns out, is a giant outdoor airport terminal in the middle of Arizona. So I stood there in eternal wait, the terminal filling up with people I hate and emptying them out just as quickly. My only friend was a bodiless lhasa apso with a penchant for skating around ( Read more... )

For evilgnomepowers and pemberleyaI am not tremendously feminine. I rarely wear make up and almost never brush my hair. I smoke a lot and I swear even more. I drink out of the carton, and when there’s no one around I eat dinner directly over the sink. My mother is forever going on about my habit of wearing men’s deodorant and eschewing proper foundation garments ( Read more... )