When I was in junior college there was this girl who really wanted me. She'd flirt during class, try to touch me when we stopped in the halls. She made it damn clear that I could have her, any time I wanted ( Read more... )

When I was in high school, there were two brothers whom everyone called, 'The Safety Twins.' The Safety TWins were not twins at all, but happen to be in the same grade by their birthdays, which fell almost exactly nine months from each other's ( Read more... )

Well my bad luck has continued. really, i have shitty luck. it's worse than bad ( Read more... )

They say you learn something new every day. I don't know about that. And I certainly don't know who this 'They' is that everyone quotes.

But I did learn something today.
If you search on google image search for the word zoolander, there are pictures of random people making that funny face.


( Read more... )

A few years after leaving school and I'm at a friends birthday party, she's kind of weird and she gets a bouncy castle and invites a load of people from school she hasn't seen in a while ( Read more... )

I was very excited to be going to McDonalds one breezy summer afternoon with my friend. Now, I know that going to McDonalds is not, per se, the most exciting thing to do, unless you are taking a new car through the drive-thru (isn't there a volkswagon commercial about that?) but, indeed, I was not taking a new car through the drive thru. My friend ( Read more... )

I once worked at a truckstop. I went into one of the bathroom stalls one night and put two of those little foil packets of mustard under the little knobs on the underside of the toilet seat. I nicked the edges of the packets and faced them forwards so that when whoever next used the john sat down it would squirt into their pants ( Read more... )

A couple of years ago I was at this hole in wall bar in Hattiesburg with a girl I met earlier that day. We having a great time playing pool and drinking when this guy walked in with a gun in his hand ( Read more... )

Traditionally, in order to avoid being a disgusting fat ugly person, teenage girls have a choice between two different paths. They could choose bulimia or anorexia to maintain a healthy body weight. While technically they could be bulimic and anorexic, only a mentally unstable person with a poor self-image would attempt such an endeavor. Both ( Read more... )

My old journal got a bit cluttered with random crap, all without subjects. This made it hard made for me to find posts I wanted later.

All the random, short posts (crap) i writ will still be on my old journal.
There will be nothing but good quality posts here. haha.