i don't wanna jinx myselffffffff
i've spent so much time messing up my own life because of my silly misconceptions and fears but i really think i'm ready to be done doing that. maybe.

life is funny. i can't believe i still keep a livejournal. there are some things from childhood/teenagedom that still haunt me. i just love typing though, wow. i guess my neighbor and i are having a noise contest because i showered this morning and played opera really loud and now he's got his classic rock blaring through the walls. lucky for him i ( Read more... )

so happy everyone is getting along & having great lives. i really am though...just
WISH I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!!

i hate gettin' sad. it's really so silly. but it's also a really nice little hole to crawl into. and i get so cozy up in my cave ( Read more... )

today i had to give an oral presentation type thing in my environmental sociology class...something that should be quite simple, straightforward, something i should be capable of. speaking publicly for 4 minutes...i blab on and on most of the time, so piece of cake, right? but no. i am completely incapable of doing any such thing. the speech that ( Read more... )

i would like to recant my previous statement(s). very often i let myself become concerned with the world & how i imagine i am expected to be, rather than remembering to just live how i feel. i remember now. i'm tryin.

I'M FREAKING OUT it's really really difficult to find a job here because there are over 8,000 students in new paltz and so why would I be fucking special enough to get one of the probably 10 available waitressing jobs in the whole town??? if i have to go back to BABYSITTING jobs i find on CRAIGSLIST i'm going to go CRAZY. CRAZIER THAN I ALREADY AM ( Read more... )

i'm lonely in my apartment by myself!!!!! i have the fucking flu as fucking usual, i'm dyin' here. and i think gracce has jumped out the window cuz she hates it here so much ( Read more... )

there is absolutely no point in having a fucking apartment when i have no goddamn friends to come play with me any way. this is so not cool, it's total bullshit. i want to do so many things & i guess i'll have to get used to doing them alone because i have no companions in life. i need a boyfriend i can glom onto and say fuck all the bitches, ( Read more... )

so last night in rhinebeck i got a flat tire and two of the cutest, most charming men i've ever met changed it for me and basically i fell in love & will never see them again. actually that's not true i'll be stalking redhook/rhinebeck area via real life AND facebook for a very long time...they freakin introduced themselves and we all just stood ( Read more... )