so i believed all his lies. and i was stupid to think he actually cared about anyone but himself. selfish. to only think about your feelings rather then someone else's. all he had to do was be honest and i wouldn't be so bitter. but he played it off. and i was a toy. that was used to it's whits end and now i'm broken. i never even doubted that ( Read more... )

so i leave early in the morning. i don't want to go home. back to work. i hate working. i think i just realized that. lol. it takes so much time away from my life. and i don't want to look back on life knowing i worked it all away. but i have to. it pays the bills. i can't depend on anyone, but myself.  when i am home all i do is work, sleep, and ( Read more... )

everything has been pretty good while i've been here. i actually went to a club. which was kind of weird cause it's not my thing. i rather  be at a show in a mosh pit kicking some ass then dry humping people cause that's just kind of slutty, and i'm not about to be like that. but i still had alott of fun!! this chick kept hooking me up and woo. did ( Read more... )

so i ended things with the boy for good. after weeks of ignoring him i finally got to let out all the shit i was keeping inside. it felt so nice. granted, i don't trust him. believe him. nor do i give a shit what happens to him, at least i got to say what i wanted before i never spoke to him again. he's somethin' else man. but it's over. and this ( Read more... )

i'm stressed to the max man. all because of money and this damn accident. but i just keep telling myself it'll be okay! possitive thinking. ashley has been sleeping over my house. i love her to death. she is amazingggg. and she makes me happy, even if sometimes i'm mean because i am so stressed! heh. i'm so lucky.

i like hanging out with josh too. i ( Read more... )

life is good.
i'm happy.
i can't compain.
i like hanging out with josh.
&&& ashley
&&& i can't wait to go to miami to see sami!
the T. E. A will be together again. yay!
:)

so talking to a friend. and he takes to much shit from this girl. she knows she's got total control and she takes it all. it's sad. it makes me realize how much wiser i am than he is. who the hell thinks like that? she's doing all she can to kill him inside. oh boy! and it's working. so i sit back and watch you crumble as she tears you down so far ( Read more... )

everything has been pretty okay. losing people i care about was hard as shit. but life is starting to make sense. i suppose. so life. samii. new friend. josh. blast from the past. and new job. assistant managerr. i'm happy. content. now lets just hope i can deal with the accident shit. i'll be okay.

my my my. i cannot complain one bit. things are pretty good. i'm proud of myself. 9 pounds lighter...and counting. only bad habit now is smoking. i just started though so it shouldn't be hard to quit one bit. heh. nicky and i are going to hang out when i get to NC i am totally excited. he asked if i could stay over his house. like my dad would ever ( Read more... )

i am becoming more possitive as the days progress. i can't believe it. what a turn around. i don't know what did it, but i am truly happy about it. i just have an amazing support system. and for some reason, there are people, you know, that i don't have to talk to for weeks, but they are there for me 100 and ten percent, maybe i never realized it, ( Read more... )