i don't know what to feel. how to act. my parents are disappointed in me. so what the fuck do i have left? people don't seem to understand that i don't usually do anything wrong. so this time, this time my life is forever fucked up because they no longer trust me. and it was all just a jealous rage. i didn't sleep with star. in fact we didn't even ( Read more... )

i snapped. it's like i couldn't take it anymore. was it was the pizza crust i found on my dresser, by my bed? or was it the crumbled up popcorn bag left next to that? or hmmm. maybe it was the dishes i found in the sink this morning. could it have been the cd's left in my bed? or the cd player left by my bed? or my favorite, how my wallet and purse ( Read more... )

1. 
   R.I.P Kyle.
2. 
   A year since i met scumbag.
3. 
   Looking forward to NC
4. 
   I have a crush on nicky poooooo! (only i play hard to get)
5. 
   i'm losing weight. yay!

drinks galore. only to have emotional girls. and i was chilled. everything is starting to look up. north carolina. boys. and my relationships with people have gotten pretty good. ash comes back tomorrow. i'm so excited. i have so much to update her on! ahha. right now. i'm just so fucking pissed/annoyed. i want to smack someone in their face like ( Read more... )

nervous break downs. hyperventalating. maybe it's not worth it, she thinks to herself. and thoughts run wild in her mind. what is it going to take to be good enough for him? if he only understood. but he doesn't. she's been living in this bubble of regrets and she's tired of all the meaningless sex, that's what it becomes after those boys do her ( Read more... )

a million thoughts. a million and one thoughts. they don't stop. you. you. you. you you. i'm annoying myself. i just want to stop thinking about you for 2 seconds. but it's always been like this, since the beginning of time. so what am i talking about? and i'm wondering if i made the right choices. if i did the right things. cause God for bid your ( Read more... )

i am tired. i woke up this morning and i couldn't go back to sleep. i look like gargabe, and my face has broken out. and i'm wondering what the hell is going on with me. but its okay. looking bad is better then feeling bad, right? right. i have some cleaning up to do, it kind of sucks. but i'm too lazy right now. i need something to do today.i just ( Read more... )

i never really understood how people could be so fucked up. i mean, i've had my share of 'stalkers', 'wack-o's', shitty boyfriends, but what the hell is going on with people these days? it's hard to find people to trust. to love. to believe. everything seems so hard to find. it's like all boys do is lie. abandoned you, after they spent months with ( Read more... )

GOOD-BYE MY LOVE

i think of you.
with a kiss, 
you have forgotten all that has held me together.
i've waited.
i've paid my dues, 
only to watch you leave me so fallen apart.

i've lost the only love i've ever known,
to another women.
there is no 'us'.
there is no 'one day'.
it was now or never.
you chose never.

broken to peices i watch you fall,
with each day i ( Read more... )

i think the boy and i are over. it makes me sad. we went from seeing eachother everyday, to like nothing. i don't understand him at all. one second it's like he can't get enough of me, and the next he's had enough of me. sunday passed. i didn't hear from him. monday passed, i didn't hear from him. tuesday is here and i was still waiting for some ( Read more... )