Chapter 59: Pig Snot

[cheryl_bites]

Today’s object lesson is that dyslexic authors should make sure to get a competent proofreader, and the consequences of blithely ignoring said lesson make up this chapter’s main source of mirth. Each sentence goes on forever without making sense at any point. As my mother pointed out upon reading this, Gary Stu stands for Garrulous and Stupid.

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Comments

[plaid_slytherin]

I rather liked Morris, too.

“Next up, is miss Ginevra Weasley,” Mr. Kingsley Shacklebolt, minister of magic (mom for short) said.

Is this like calling the teacher Mom? Ginny called the Minister of Magic Mom? D:

[cheryl_bites]

*Slaps forehead* Aye, that was it! I did notice that, but there were so many mad things in that chapter I couldn't face going through it again so I just went with frim.

[luccamajere]

Aha, yes, it should. XD

[falco_conlon]

the parts of his skin that could be seen shimmered like car oil on water.

How beautiful...

change different colours as it did, the hair stopped growing when it reached a Navy style crew cut length, the colour of the hair never stuck to one particular colour, it just kept changing from one colour to the next.

Um, definition of redundant, see redundant?

like in law show, his uncle Vernon liked to watch, so that he could yell at the screen.

Hahaha! What is that some generic knock off of American Court/Crime shows? And next? LAW SHOW, starring POLICEMAN, LAWYER, CSI and JUDGE.

“you guys don’t know the first thing about a wizard’s dual, you ediots”

YOU EEEEDIOTS!

“Magic wipe lash, I’m afraid” Morris shrugged.

Ahaha, ew. That sounds disgusting.

the question is can he stop everyone he cares about from being killed the second time around? This time though Harry doesn't intend to leave anyone alive.

Wait...bwuah?

Crucio

Wow. Way to defeat the purpose of all seven books

Sensing a discharge of magic Harry ended the torture curse

[rickfan37]

Morris stopped his widdling for a second and looked over his shoulder to Harry
In the region of the UK where I was born, to widdle means to pee. Please excuse my uncontrollable giggling.

she pull the Neville into Harry the compartment... and Thomas the Tank Engine pulled the train.

reminded Harry of his cosine Dudley on a bad day
He had always hated trigonometry.

Dumbledore began the begging of term speech
"Please, please, please do not enter the Forbidden Forest!"

instead of the sorting hat on his head he was wearing Professor Quirrell turbid
Turbid? Is that like turgid? Because I have this disturbing mental image involving a sexually aroused Quirrell, perched cross-legged atop Harry's head...
Harry couldn’t move or breath because of Professor Quirrell turbid
Evidently, I am correct.

“you guys don’t know the first thing about a wizard’s dual, you ediots”

A wizard's dual what? Entendre?

[cheryl_bites]

In the region of the UK where I was born, to widdle means to pee. Please excuse my uncontrollable giggling.

Same here XD Most people seem to have caught on about that one.

she pull the Neville into Harry

And I don't know if I mentioned it, but I like this... fag-hag Hermione wants Neville to top for once.

[luccamajere]

Pretty sure turbid means opaque, like if you were talking about turbid river water, it would be all muddy, as opposed to clear, clean water. That person looks like the type to use spellcheck and just click on its suggestions even when they;'re wrong. :P Though that doesn't explain all the non-words. XP

[shyfoxling]

Oh, hey! As in "turbulent". But yes, this definitely reeks of the poor spell-checker doing the best it can and the human operator not knowing when to reject its suggestions.

[rickfan37]

protecting her like the three headed guard dog was protecting the trap door on the third fool corridor.
As opposed to the first fool corridor, which only appears in April.

[shyfoxling]

You don't want to know what appears at Beauxbatons on the first of April.