I managed to fool Borders into thinking I would be a good addition to their staff. Watch this space for horror stories soon like ( Read more... )

List of people I plan to sex up:

1. The girl who baked my Mrs. Field's cookie cup
2. The makers of Dance Dance Revolution
3. The creators of 'Lost'.
4. Half the male cast on 'Lost'.
5. Okay, 90% of the male cast on 'Lost'
6. Especially Ian Somerhalder. And Josh Holloway. Mmmmmm, Ian Somerhalder and Josh Holloway ( Read more... )

My rice tastes like refrigerator. Considering it was left over from Chinese food that was purchased last month, I'm just glad something didn't ooze into it. There was some old cheese dip in there that was looking at my poor rice box in ways that I didn't find appropriate ( Read more... )

I can now proudly say that I got every last bit of percentage that I could in Final Fantasy X-2! I got the regular ending, the good ending, and the special ending after the credits, and it was completely and totally not worth my fucking time! If you're going to provide the opportunity for an extra secret ending after you go through every tedious ( Read more... )

I love this song, and I don't even know what this bitch is singing about. I found the lyrics on line, but I think I understood what the song was about much better when I hadn't read the translation (besides the words 'namida', 'hoshi', and 'hikari'. Oh, and 'ai'. Yeah Sailor Moon!). Now I just think this bitch is crazy ( Read more... )

I'm feeling kind of ornery today, so I was inordinately pleased that several people around me on the bus this morning could not sleep because my CD player was that loud. KMFDM says "Fuck You!" foul boy and your awful morning breath reek. I think every time he breathed out and I inhaled, his stench was rotting my teeth. Seriously, that was some ( Read more... )

Thanks for the kind words, the advice, the hugs, the "I love you"s, the insults as endearments, and the threats of violence without urine. They meant a lot to me. Seriously.

Now everyone say this three times fast: Platinum Plated Penis.

So, to make a long story short: I found out today that I am failing everything. Joy and rapture. Also, my professors recommend I withdraw. More happiness ensues. I call my mother and she goes "I guess it's time to try something else. Don't think about the money. We'll get you hooked up. I'm sorry I pushed you." Who is this woman and where did ( Read more... )

Dear McDonald's on Forbes Avenue,

Seeing as you people are allegedly the most successful McDonald's in the world, you would think that you could learn to take a fucking order correctly. Today would be the third time I had my order messed up when I had the misfortune to come in for breakfast. First time, I got the wrong drink. Second time, there ( Read more... )

Actually, I already came down with the sickness, and it is fucking awesome! My throat's scratchy, I've been coughing my way through the nights, and every now and again I sneeze! I've gone through a box and a half of Kleenex! My head is pounding, my stomach feels queasy and I'm just wondering how in the hell I could have possibly gotten so lucky ( Read more... )