( my biggest fear )

its really hard to leave so much love and go to complete loneliness. it's even harder to know that its all changed and when i go back it will never be the same. i think thus far i'd describe college as painful. and i think i went to far away from home, to a school with no one like me.

why didn't i apply to emerson? i just keep thinking about it.

 i wrote a long entry...got deleted because my computer is spastic.
bottom line: i don't want to go to school. i'm starting to think i picked the wrong school. the wrong major. and i can't handle the fact that it's going to be my reality in 5 weeks exactly.

life is good. what a phenomenal feeling.

I GOT INTO FORDHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

things in my life right now (not good or bad, just things ( Read more... )

i lied. i' m a big liar.

if author purpose, themes and archtypal characters have taught me one thing, and one thing only, it is that who you are is determined by who you have been and what you have gone through. how could i ever then, leave my livejournal. i just need to update it more, and with happy entires.

can do.

i honestly had the time of my life on asp. i felt useful and like i had a purpose and needed and i needed people and it was just this little isolated utopia, and its over now. i've been home for two and a half hours and i would love to be anywhere but here. its just such a sad house. people can live in falling down trailers and be perfectly happy ( Read more... )

i have three first choice colleges. none of which i've seen. pepperdine, fordham, and university of denver. getting away would be wonderful seeing as in about an hour i'm leaving to stay at emily's because my mother and i simply cannot handle each other anymore. scary huh, that shes the one now.

she's awake and talking :)