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(Untitled)
For Matt:
Sorry I'm late.
Where ever you may be.
But please, remember me fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then they went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like "We'll meet again" and "Fuck the man"
And "Tell my mother not to worry"
And angels with their great handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
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The World, Somebody Wrote, Is The Place We Prove Real By Dying In It.
I was in a school shooting ( Read more... ) -
File Under: Shit I Don't Like
The hipster, fixie, PBR trend hit Lawrence, however late. I feel I was prepared as I first witnessed this festering wall of 'making it look like I don't wash my hair on purpose' move in a slow motion, horrible wave going east about the time I moved from Los Angeles to this horror show that I call the Mid-fucking-west.
Being that I'm generally not ( Read more... ) -
A Matter of Important Scientific Inquiry
So, what has happened to Livejournal? Why is she now like the cougar at the end of the bar flailing to hold on to that moment in high school when she made Homecoming Princess and its been a completely ugly slide into the abyss since then?
Has Facebook killed it?
Has it just run out of steam on its own?
Former Soviet nationstate take over? -
Remember That One Time When Kansas Tried To Kill Me (Again)?
I'm on my way home yesterday from work on what passes a freeway here. It's really a highway or if you want to get all technical, it's a turnpike since it involves an intricate scheme involving paying to drive on it in the form of tolls. I'd just hung up the phone, leaving my mom a message. Oh, that's another thing you can do here: Yap ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Things I am afraid of:
1. Nuclear War
2. Clowns Who Live In The Sewers of Maine
3. Large Semis That Change Lanes Without Warning
4. Cougars
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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(Untitled)
C: Wait. Did you just say he's a larper?
Me: Yes.
C: ... a larper?
Me: ...yes.
C: Oh, dude, I just thought you meant that he played WoW sometimes when you said gamer.
Me: Yeah, no.
C: Does he stand on someone's lawn wearing his mom's towels as a cape and holding a fake sword?
Me: You make it sound like he particiates in something that has minimal ( Read more... ) -
How I Spent My Saturday Afternoon (Tornado Fun With The Kids)
I'm standing in Target in the high-falutent shampoo aisle when the siren goes off. I look at the two random people next to me who are also deeply contemplating $8 Tea Tree Shampoo and ask them if they hear that. Their ears perk up like rabbits and we all start looking at each other like: 'Okay... what now?' The woman next to me and her friend ( Read more... )
