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So i've spent the last few weeks going over all the shit that I've recently come to terms with and struggling with the desire to confront the Elf face to face in front of those she calls her peers and tear down her pedestal one brick at a time. would that i could do this in person without getting over emotional and irrational, which would be very ( Read more... )

wandering around in my head working on the old Phrese project almost requires that i run into past experiences that i'd rather not think about, but there they are. i need to bleed off the excess some how and since that is what this was created for here goes ( Read more... )

Things have been going so well here lately that I haven't spent much time or energy dwelling on the past. Nor have I felt the urge to do so. To quote Lavey "The glory of the present is that the rest is past." And in the past it'll stay. The future's so bright I bought new shades. So many many good things have been happening since returning from ( Read more... )

I've been trying to decide where to post this and figured as its poetry I could post it both here and there. More thoughts from 79 minute train rides:

In the privacy of darkness, when I can lay awake no more
and coherent thoughts of daylight have become a chore
I can feel my self falling farther than asleep
Down, down for miles and landing in a heap
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I've spent a lot of time thinking lately. Most of it because I'm stuck in the fucking London Underground but hey thinking is thinking no matter where it's done.

I wandered into the corridors of my diseased mind and stumbled across the times I spent in therapy. Starting when I was roughly 9 or so with the tall thin brunette lady that reminds me ( Read more... )

Somewhere down the line I became Trouble. I'd say about the fourth grade. People started to look at me like I'd grown a second head. Mike's family patronized me, and the Elf's family treated me like I was carrying the plague. my brother was treated like a crown prince. my friends started to drift away from me. i was the weird kid. I had a box of ( Read more... )

in order to preserve my sanity and my self, I'm going to leave off this project for a few days. I might not be able to keep the poison from spewing forth and will prolly end up posting again by Monday but I'm attempting to take a sabbatical. For my health.

~C

this is driving me mad. reliving this is almost worse the second and third times around. My head hurts and my thoat has closed up. I slept like a tortured soul hanging from the battlements and tossed in the firey winds of hell. Drifiting in and out of conciousness between nightmares and worse. What  sleep I did glean from the clutches of the abyss ( Read more... )

I was one of three students in the whole school that had divorced parents. I was also the one student that "talked funny". I didn't have a southern twang. I do now, but mostly by choice. Its a gentle thing, very casual Vamp. I also wasn't related to anyone else in town. Hell I was only really related to one person in my family. The rest of the ( Read more... )