Where are your boots? In Washington, up General Taylor's arse.
Hello one and all. Due to an unfortunate incident (ie. me spending all my free time rewatching GK and looking for porn fic and icons and stuff and buying Evan Wright's book) this week's spam will be a little thin on the ground. LIKE DONNIE'S HAIR LMAO. I've chosen two BoBers to focus on this week, both of whom are awesome but who I seem to have a limited number of caps for :(
NUMERO UNO: JOE MOTHERFUCKING TOYE
NUMERO...DUO: POPEYE WYNN ♥ ♥ ♥
This post is dedicated to the large number of Kirk Acevedo fangirls that there appear to be on my flist :)
MASSIVELY EPIC BOB PICSPAM PART SEVEN: JOE TOYE AND POPEYE WYNN
(or, ADMIT POPEYE IS ADORABLE OR MIGUEL ALVAREZ WILL CUT A BITCH MMKAY?)
Warning: I AM ON CRACK.
Another warning: If you have never seen Oz, I apologise in advance. Of all the BoB characters, I find it most difficult to separate Toye from another character Kirk Acevedo played, Miguel Alvarez. To the extent that even now, whenever I'm watching BoB, my brain goes retarded and gets all confused whenever I see Toye, and tries to call him Miguel Toye or Joe Alvarez or something equally as messed-up. So sorry if you have no idea who Miguel Alvarez is...
This is Miguel Alvarez. He is in prison. He is badass.
He is so badass that he went back in time to fight in WWII so that he could pull bitchfaces at his incompetent commanding officers and kill people.
However, he also took the, erm, 'interpersonal' skills he learnt in Em City (ie. GETTING IN SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SPACE NONE TOO SUBTLY) back with him as well XD
Miguel Alvarez is so badass he will shank a bitch before the war even starts, on the boat over.
He is so badass that he doesn't need any of the extraneous crap paratroopers are supposed to pack - HE ONLY NEEDS SPACE FOR HIS BRASS KNUCKLES.
However, he may be badass and thrive on killing Germans, but he is also humane, putting horses out of their misery if need be. HUMANITY IS NOT SOMETHING HE LEARNT IN EM CITY, BTW.
He is so badass that he is the first to volunteer for any missions. EVEN BEFORE BILL GUARNERE, WHO IS EPIC IN HIS OWN BADASSERY.
Alvarez's badassery is so potent that, however, it rubs off on all those around him, so that they feel INVINCIBLE and also will volunteer, safe in the knowledge that his badassery will act as a cocoon from harm except for that guy in the background who totally gets killed shut up
He is so badass that his nuts are bulletproof and shrapnelproof, as evidenced here.
NOT ONCE BUT TWICE, TYVM.
Alvarez is so badass that a guy can inadvertently stick a bayonet up his arse and his only reaction is to grimace slightly.
HE IS SO BADASS THAT HE WILL SHUSH SOMEONE IF THEY TALK IN THE CINEMA.
He is so badass that he will share a foxhole with McClung (ew OMG I am so mean to McClung) AND (almost) stare down a Doc Roe order ♥
BUT HE IS ONLY HUMAN,
And he can't help but think of the things he would do to Doc Roe were they back in Em City together (OMG #2, I am a purveyor of filth, I'm so sorry)
He is so badass that he doesn't need no mothereffing sling,
And will walk headfirst into a snowstorm without a coat, because coats are for pussies.
Except of course if said pussy's name is Bill Guarnere, because he is also badass and is definitely not a pussy.
He wears a coat to protect the snow from him.
Alvarez is so badass that he will forget your name,
And he doesn't give a fuck about it. He'd rather make eyes at Skip.
MIGUEL ALVAREZ IS SO BADASS THAT HE CAN GET HIT BY A MORTAR. TWICE.
AND ONLY LOSE HALF A LEG. AND HE'LL EVEN ASK YOU FOR A SMOKE.
In conclusion, I think it may *just* be evident that Miguel Alvarez (OK, JOE TOYE) is badass and hot and I love him. OK? ♥
So now we move onto Popeye Wynn. I can't explain my love for Popeye, it just exists. IDK where it came from or why I love him so wholeheartedly, I just do. And it's a pure, PURE love. Innocent. Heee. Popeye FTMFW.
IDK if I can make lulzy commentary about Popeye, even though he gives us some choice material (LIKE GETTING SHOT IN THE ARSE).
He's just like this adorable, naïve little hick and I can't be mean to him. So this spam is massively rambling and incoherent and focuses on his adorableness and little else, heh.
MY FAVOURITE POPEYE BIT (OBVIOUSLY) IS WHEN HE GETS SHOT IN THE ARSE IN 'DAY OF DAYS' AND THEN SPENDS THE REST OF THE EPISODE APOLOGISING FOR IT.
THE LOOKS THAT HE GETS ON HIS FACE, OMG, LOLTACULAR AND ADORABLE.
And then he's in the hospital with Smokey and he's got his lovely little pastel gown on and he's all balding and adorable. DID I MENTION THAT HE'S ADORABLE?
And when he returns?
And Donnie is totally motherhenning him?
LOOK HE'S SO PROUD OF POPEYE.
And then Donnie kind of gently makes fun of the fact that Popeye's a little bit slow and a little bit Southern, but he's doing it in the sweetest of ways and the whole thing is completely fucking adorable. I LOVE THIS SCENE IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS, OMG. THIS SCENE ALSO MADE ME LOVE DONNIE ♥
AND THEN SKIP MAKES FUN OF HIM GETTING SHOT IN THE ARSE AND LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE HE IS. RIGHT THERE. LOOK. I AM NOT OVERUSING THE WORD ADORABLE.
And then some random guy with no neck gives him a light. And that bit, in the church of incredibly flattering lighting, where they scan past Popeye and he's, like, hardcore reading a book, and he looks like he's all "hmmmmm *strokes imaginary beard* this is very informative and enlightening" and he's totally enjoying it, OMG, it always makes me crack up. I think I'm totally reading too much into a two-second fly-by of Popeye, but LOOOOOK. Everyone else is all emo and pensive, and you can just imagine him settling down and getting out his book. IDK. It really makes me LOL.
And hey look it's the two adorable innocent Southern boys (marginally) in one frame! HEY SHIFTY ♥
But yeah, Popeye is so cute when he's doing something and, like, concentrating really hard. He's like this adorable, balding little boy ahahahaha
WHO APPRECIATES THE AWESOMENESS OF WINTERS.
And like everyone else in the final white t-shirt scene of sunshine and hotness, he finishes the series looking fabulous and shiny and DID I MENTION ADORABLE? ILU POPEYE.
OK, sorry, that whole Popeye spam was so saccharine on my behalf, but I can't help it. He's like this adorable little puppy dog and he's so cute and innocent and naive, more so then anyone else (except maybe Shifty, who is also adorable and Southern and innocent ♥).
IN CONCLUSION: I LOVE POPEYE AND HE IS ADORABLE.
THE END.
Part One (the epically fucked-up love of Webster and Liebgott)
Part Two (Speirs, the badassest badass to ever badass)
Part Three (Christenson and Grant, hot but criminally underused)
Part Four (George Luzzzzzz and the giant slash debacle)
Part Five (Mr CAPSLOCK Band of Brothers, Gonorrhoea)
Part Six (OMG THAT'S THE TRICKSTER FROM SPN AND THE GINGER ONE FROM ER!! And someone else)
And just a little something else because GODDAMN I am all over this show like a bad rash, OMG....
UNF
LOL
OMG
NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION (TY WALT'S HOTNESS AND MR AND MRS GK AND WALT, LIKE, MOUNTING BRAD)
THIS IS A SERIOUS QUESTION FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CREATIVE SKILLS.
What's the best way to make a gif? I've been trying to use Adobe ImageReady to make some Ray-Ray gifs but I'm not too keen on them so far, and want some clearer ones that don't fuck up quite so much and aren't so slow:
PUT THAT FUCKING MILKSHAKE DOWN AND DIG YOUR HOLE ♥
MORE............LIKE................TROMBLEYYYYYYYYY???????????
LOOK HOW RUBBISH THEY ARE D:
They're seriously nowhere near as slow as this in Photobucket. Pieces of crud.
I also made some Walt gifs (♥) but they went mental so I deleted them. I want Walt gifs :(
I am also planning (in addition to finishing this epic series of spams, AND also doing a picspam of HBO hotarse OTPs, ie. Winnix vs Fick/Colbert TY r0knr0ll...) on doing a post of The Wisdom of Ray Person, because I'll be fucked if he's not the most important mind since, oh, IDK, Marx or Freud or Descartes or something. Also I found some old pictures of James Ransone when he was very obviously still a crack addict, and OMG, he used to look like Adrien Brody. WHEN HE WAS PLAYING THAT DUDE IN THE PIANIST. It was scary. I'm glad he's crack-free and hot now.
RANDOM ALSO: I bought some pyjamas with little fluoro tanks and soldiers all over them, hahaha DAMN YOU HBO MILITARY FETISH >:O
But they are awesome, Y/Y?
Oh, and finally, I know a whole heap of people have friended me lately and I have been lazy and haven't friended you back yet - I'M SORRY, I REALLY AM LAZY. I endeavour to add you all back ASAP because all my new friends are pretty awesome :)