real quick.... just writing down my dream from last nite ( Read more... )

i'm tired.

what makes me happy? 
what makes you happy?
what makes anyone happy?

where does happiness exist?

let's draw. 

( Read more... )

i really ought to start journaling privately this way i can discuss my hatred for some people.  hahaha... eh, that's not even a joke.

man, listening to Caleb the other night was pretty cool.  i find peace and ease within going to Xhedos just for the hopes of bumping into Caleb.  He has this way of putting things in perspective for me without being ( Read more... )

the snow looks pretty
i like it
i've never liked it
but i like it

my gosh i had a great time last night.  enough said... just a really good time.  i felt like i was 7.  do i need to prove it?? do i really need to prove it??

all right fine...


( Read more... )

and since i've put excercising aside i have found other ways of therapy....  photography, photoshop, projects and such...

i think on a consistent basis about what a comfort zone i am in right now. even while spending time with friends and loved ones, i cannot help but think "what am i doing here... why aren't creating my future....why aren't i ( Read more... )

geez, i can't stop thinking about what a waste of space i am.
i seriously sit and repeatedly say to myself "don't get comfortable, don't get comfortable..."

i don't have a horrible life... it's just when i see people who impact thousands and thousands of people....whether they be artists, musicians, actors, polititicians, producers.... i think "i can ( Read more... )

i don't feel good.  i don't know what i expected. I feel empty.  what did i expect to feel?  perhaps i'll learn how lonesome i truly you am without you.  oh for fuck sake i just want so much out of life... i am never too sure as to what i want.  part of me feels as if i've ruined the one good, wholesome relationship i will ever encounter.  and ( Read more... )

christmas - check
new year's - check
boredom - check

i thought there would be more out of this life.

i wish i wasn't the type that cared so much.  finally i've become the person i've always wanted.  a number of my psychological problems have been put aside.  (yes, i say put aside....because i think most people always have their problems they just learn to cope with them differently.)  I dreamed of the time that would come that I would not feel the ( Read more... )