[fanfic] Loud Night - Silent Life. Chapter 3
Title: Loud Night - Silent Life. Chapter 3
Pairing: YooSu (later)
Genre: angst. drama. friendship.
Rating: PG-16
Words: 1 108
Length: chaptered -> Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 .
Warning: /
Summary: Something happens in that night. Something that changes Junsu's life forever. And with him it changes everything in the life of DBSK.
Thanks to: my beta teukie-pie
Disclaimer: Don't own DBSK or any other persons in that story. Just the plot is mine.
~
They had moved into a new house together, far away from their usual places, from their home. Now they lived together in a house near the seaside of Korea. Their dogs were there and their friends and family visited often, just to say hello.
Junsu hadn’t spoken since that incident, for a whole month now. He had gotten very silent in his behaviour and character as well. Sometimes he just sat on the beach with Xiahki running around him, looking at the water and shared silent tears, unheard thoughts and desiring feelings with his dog.
Sometimes someone came to him, found him there and sat next to him. They wouldn’t speak, they just sat there and sometimes a hand found its way to his own and would hold it tightly.
They communicate through little stickers here and there. Junsu spoke more and more with his eyes and his body. They understood him better and better.
After one month, the exact date Junho had died, Junsu went to the beach again, but made it clear that he didn’t want any company today. The other four members gathered in the kitchen and talked.
“I think we should send him to a therapist. He needs help. He can’t go on like that.”
Changmin looked at his older brothers and sighed, waiting for agreement.
“He will speak again. Even without some psychological help.”
Yoochun sounded so confident, like he could look into the future. The others looked at him, surprised. They all wanted to believe that but none of them ever thought of it like Yoochun did.
Yoochun observed Junsu more than anyone else and sometimes he found himself staring at his friend like a stalker. But he couldn’t help it. A feeling grew in his heart that he couldn’t hold back any longer, at least not completely.
He convinced his friends to wait a little longer before they would send Junsu to therapy.
Yoochun wanted to talk to Junsu, wanted to tell him how worried they all still were though it all had eased up a bit. They all calmed down. They still sang. They composed, wrote and arranged songs and then sang them, they all did it except for Junsu. He just couldn’t do the same.
But he smiled and laughed again, played stupid video games with Changmin again and quarrelled with him about food.
It all came back, but without any sound. Not once his laughter was heard, not once he really complained about Changmin with words and insults.
Something as important as a voice, especially for a singer, was simply gone and nobody knew when it would come back. Though Junsu seemed to live with it, he seemed to have come to terms with it.
“Yeah it seems like that…” Yoochun thought with a sigh and looked at the beach, watching the small figure walking with bare footed through the small waves by the beach.
Finally he made his decision and walked closer to his friend, until he was near enough to see him closely. He could see the hair, grown longer and ruffled by the wind, the eyes staring at the sea, a bit too blank, too thoughtful, the body standing there, straight and a bit too still.
Yoochun took a deep breath before he approached Junsu. Junsu didn’t look at him but he smiled a bit.
“I know you wanted to be alone. Sorry if I disturbed you.”
Yoochun looked at his hands, wanting to grab Junsu’s and hold them tight. He could see Junsu shaking his head and looked up just to feel cold fingers grabbing his own.
Now they both smiled.
“Junsu-ah.”
The tone in Yoochun’s voice made Junsu turn around. It was rare that his friend spoke to him in such a serious tone and he knew when he had to pay attention.
But when the next words reached his ears he didn’t want to listen anymore.
“You know you can talk, you can use your voice. I know that you can do it and I know that you know it too. I’m not saying you have to talk or sing or anything, but… I really wish you would.”
There was a pause and Junsu could feel that Yoochun was going to cry again. His hand touched Yoochun’s cheek and he smiled, reassuring and soft.
He leaned into the touch for a moment and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds before he spoke again, looking directly into Junsu’s eyes now.
“I miss your voice. Not only your singing, but your laughter, the sound of your voice in every moment, every word that you spoke. I know it isn’t easy for you and I don’t want to push you. I…” He had to stop, tears were flowing down his cheeks and he bit his lower lip.
When Junsu tried to wipe them off he shook his head and took his hands.
“You know I’m a sappy idiot and cry too often. Junsu… please, don’t torture yourself and us anymore. Please, just a little bit.”
Junsu couldn’t stand it anymore. Through all the time he thought it was okay, it was okay how he, they, lived now. He had arranged everything with himself and made his decisions. They got along well like always and no one ever came to him to speak about the loss of his voice.
But now Yoochun stood here in front of him and told him how he really felt, how they had all felt all this time. He never thought they would miss his voice that much. Sometimes he actually thought that they would be happy about it.
Now he understood and he felt sorry for them. Yoochun was right; he could speak, talk and sing if he really wanted to. Junsu had realized it shortly after they had moved here.
With a small smile he broke the contact between their hands and wrapped his arms around Yoochun, pulling him close.
“You really are a sappy idiot.”
His words were soft and hoarse like rough sand paper, but he whispered them into Yoochun’s ears with everything he could afford.
A smile broke out on Yoochun’s lips the moment he heard Junsu’s words and he couldn’t help but grin like a sappy and completely happy idiot.
“You’re right. You’re just right.”
He murmured back between sobs and buried himself in Junsu’s arms, holding him close.
The next moment he could hear something familiar, too familiar in his ears.
“Eukyangkyang.”
It was faint and broken. After one month Junsu’s voice was of course not working like usual. It was fortunate that he could speak at all, even a little bit.
Pairing: YooSu (later)
Genre: angst. drama. friendship.
Rating: PG-16
Words: 1 108
Length: chaptered -> Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 .
Warning: /
Summary: Something happens in that night. Something that changes Junsu's life forever. And with him it changes everything in the life of DBSK.
Thanks to: my beta teukie-pie
Disclaimer: Don't own DBSK or any other persons in that story. Just the plot is mine.
~
They had moved into a new house together, far away from their usual places, from their home. Now they lived together in a house near the seaside of Korea. Their dogs were there and their friends and family visited often, just to say hello.
Junsu hadn’t spoken since that incident, for a whole month now. He had gotten very silent in his behaviour and character as well. Sometimes he just sat on the beach with Xiahki running around him, looking at the water and shared silent tears, unheard thoughts and desiring feelings with his dog.
Sometimes someone came to him, found him there and sat next to him. They wouldn’t speak, they just sat there and sometimes a hand found its way to his own and would hold it tightly.
They communicate through little stickers here and there. Junsu spoke more and more with his eyes and his body. They understood him better and better.
After one month, the exact date Junho had died, Junsu went to the beach again, but made it clear that he didn’t want any company today. The other four members gathered in the kitchen and talked.
“I think we should send him to a therapist. He needs help. He can’t go on like that.”
Changmin looked at his older brothers and sighed, waiting for agreement.
“He will speak again. Even without some psychological help.”
Yoochun sounded so confident, like he could look into the future. The others looked at him, surprised. They all wanted to believe that but none of them ever thought of it like Yoochun did.
Yoochun observed Junsu more than anyone else and sometimes he found himself staring at his friend like a stalker. But he couldn’t help it. A feeling grew in his heart that he couldn’t hold back any longer, at least not completely.
He convinced his friends to wait a little longer before they would send Junsu to therapy.
Yoochun wanted to talk to Junsu, wanted to tell him how worried they all still were though it all had eased up a bit. They all calmed down. They still sang. They composed, wrote and arranged songs and then sang them, they all did it except for Junsu. He just couldn’t do the same.
But he smiled and laughed again, played stupid video games with Changmin again and quarrelled with him about food.
It all came back, but without any sound. Not once his laughter was heard, not once he really complained about Changmin with words and insults.
Something as important as a voice, especially for a singer, was simply gone and nobody knew when it would come back. Though Junsu seemed to live with it, he seemed to have come to terms with it.
“Yeah it seems like that…” Yoochun thought with a sigh and looked at the beach, watching the small figure walking with bare footed through the small waves by the beach.
Finally he made his decision and walked closer to his friend, until he was near enough to see him closely. He could see the hair, grown longer and ruffled by the wind, the eyes staring at the sea, a bit too blank, too thoughtful, the body standing there, straight and a bit too still.
Yoochun took a deep breath before he approached Junsu. Junsu didn’t look at him but he smiled a bit.
“I know you wanted to be alone. Sorry if I disturbed you.”
Yoochun looked at his hands, wanting to grab Junsu’s and hold them tight. He could see Junsu shaking his head and looked up just to feel cold fingers grabbing his own.
Now they both smiled.
“Junsu-ah.”
The tone in Yoochun’s voice made Junsu turn around. It was rare that his friend spoke to him in such a serious tone and he knew when he had to pay attention.
But when the next words reached his ears he didn’t want to listen anymore.
“You know you can talk, you can use your voice. I know that you can do it and I know that you know it too. I’m not saying you have to talk or sing or anything, but… I really wish you would.”
There was a pause and Junsu could feel that Yoochun was going to cry again. His hand touched Yoochun’s cheek and he smiled, reassuring and soft.
He leaned into the touch for a moment and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds before he spoke again, looking directly into Junsu’s eyes now.
“I miss your voice. Not only your singing, but your laughter, the sound of your voice in every moment, every word that you spoke. I know it isn’t easy for you and I don’t want to push you. I…” He had to stop, tears were flowing down his cheeks and he bit his lower lip.
When Junsu tried to wipe them off he shook his head and took his hands.
“You know I’m a sappy idiot and cry too often. Junsu… please, don’t torture yourself and us anymore. Please, just a little bit.”
Junsu couldn’t stand it anymore. Through all the time he thought it was okay, it was okay how he, they, lived now. He had arranged everything with himself and made his decisions. They got along well like always and no one ever came to him to speak about the loss of his voice.
But now Yoochun stood here in front of him and told him how he really felt, how they had all felt all this time. He never thought they would miss his voice that much. Sometimes he actually thought that they would be happy about it.
Now he understood and he felt sorry for them. Yoochun was right; he could speak, talk and sing if he really wanted to. Junsu had realized it shortly after they had moved here.
With a small smile he broke the contact between their hands and wrapped his arms around Yoochun, pulling him close.
“You really are a sappy idiot.”
His words were soft and hoarse like rough sand paper, but he whispered them into Yoochun’s ears with everything he could afford.
A smile broke out on Yoochun’s lips the moment he heard Junsu’s words and he couldn’t help but grin like a sappy and completely happy idiot.
“You’re right. You’re just right.”
He murmured back between sobs and buried himself in Junsu’s arms, holding him close.
The next moment he could hear something familiar, too familiar in his ears.
“Eukyangkyang.”
It was faint and broken. After one month Junsu’s voice was of course not working like usual. It was fortunate that he could speak at all, even a little bit.