im so fucking sick and tired of having these stupid ass dreams!!! i fucking hate it! why do i have to wake up everyday in tears!!

can someone tell me how i came online this morning and found my userpic changed on live journal???......

i dont want to go to sleep for 2 reasons.

1. i dont want to have a bad dream.
2. i dont want to have to wake up from a perfect dream

maybe i should just not sleep for a while.....

i really hope what i think is happening at atlantic city IS actually happening... cuz if its not, then im gonna have a really bad weekend...

in 177 days i will not be going to the bahamas....
at least im not as sad now as i was the first day i found out, im coping.
lets blame this one on money, mothers and boyfriends too...theyre all the reasons im not going....
i know on that day im gonna cry. why cant i be with my friends?....
y does life always have to intervene?.....

i wish i could just rip and punch the crap out of everything in my room and just scream on the top of my lungs! i think that would make me feel so much better right now..... blegh!

i cant be feeling this way again! i cant! im so fucking happy and in love but why do i feel like this?!

Been feeling really crappy. like REALLY crappy. im not gonna get the 21st bday party ive been waiting for. and i probably cant afford to have fun with my friends in the summer. and i just want to know why life is so unfair to everybody. not even just me. i look around and everything is unfair ( Read more... )

i hate you so much you fucking bastard! i hope you rot in hell for making me and my family suffer! i dont think you're sorry for one goddamn thing you've done! fuck you!

y do i always get upset over stupid shit..... like what tragic event happened in my life that made me like this? eeeerrrrrgggg......

whatever ill be fine tomorrow...

fuck.