Quick update cos i'm at work again!!! This weeks been fine other than that i actually want to kill Ceri. She's making our house a pigsty and it's pissing me off. there are used tissues under the coffee table, open packets of bacon either on the worktop or the top shelf of the fridge, she leaves every light on in the house regardless of if she's in ( Read more... )

i'm all weird at the moment. i should probably be very stressed about a number of things but i just don't care. i'm trying my hardest to find an emotion and yet there's nothing there. anywhere. it's like i'm some sort of robot. i'm trying to not cut because it just doesn't do that much for me any more but even so i really want to just in case it ( Read more... )

Right, am bored at work again but nearly done now so this'll be quick. I'm feeling a bit better right now but that's only because i threw myself into work today and made myself concentrate only on what i was doing. on the plus side, Janet just told me i've worked really hard ( Read more... )

Goddamnit!! After saying that i wouldn't eat, Lynne managed to guilt trip me into eating something so i had a packet of super noodles and then my twix. the problem was, once i'd started i didn't want to stop. it took all my self control to not eat loads and loads. that would have seriously pissed me off though so i didn't ( Read more... )

I'm hungry. had a bowl of coco pops for breakfast and nothing since. not even a twix. part of me wants to eat but a larger part doesn't. not cos i want to lose weight but cos i'm enjoying the pain that comes with the hunger. i'm sure that's wrong in more ways than one but it's how i'm feeling right now. don't think i'm gonna eat any tea. why should ( Read more... )

ok, so having read over that i was in a pretty foul mood earlier. in many ways i still am. i've just had enough now. enough of having no house, nowhere to call my home. enough of always wanting to cut my forearms but having to remember about work. enough of having the piss constantly taken out of me. enough of being told that church is the only way ( Read more... )

Grr, first we had a house, now we don't. fucking Ceri has messed it up AGAIN and no-one will elt me shout at her. i want to cause her serious physical harm. doesn't she understand that we need a house? from Saturday, Lynne's got nowhere to stay and we're both fed up of having to be in temporary accomodation. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ( Read more... )

I HATE BEING DEPRESSED. i'm feeling like absoluite shit at the moment. every day for the past week or two, i'll be fine and then suddenly crash for no reason. when i say crash, i mean that i'll go from being happy and 'normnal' to feeling awful. right now, i'm feeling lonely, suicidal, desparate to cut REALLY badly and i just feel all empty inside ( Read more... )

Ok this is gonna be real quick cos i'm nicking the work computer!! I'm doing a bit better this week altough i'm very up and down. it'ss like having a switch inside my head. not nice ( Read more... )

well people, it's been a while. my bad. i don't really know where to start on the whole updating thing so i'll just ramble for a bit. don't feel obliged to read it all. if you think a paragraph sounds boring feel free to skip it. i just need a moan ( Read more... )