I've had a pretty crappy month, and it has left me feeling like I've lost my place in the world... I want to run and escape but there isn't really anywhere to go easily and I know it prolly isn't the best plan... I don't know what to do with myself, or what I should do next.  I feel trapped, and lost.

My Dad died just over a week ago, my work is so ( Read more... )

I feel at peace with myself for the first time in years... Reaching milestone birthdays always makes me think... I guess they make everyone think... Where and what did I expect to be, who did I expect to be?? Admittedly not where, what or who I am... but that is okay. I can say that is okay for the first time prolly since my early 20s when I became ( Read more... )

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And ( Read more... )

There's a little boy waitin' at the counter of the corner shop ( Read more... )

I've decided I really hate the process of buying a house.  When you first start looking it's exciting and fun, but after you go to the effort and stress of putting in offers and things a few times and miss out that wears off.  I have looked on and off for the last couple of years, put in an offer on a reasonable number of places and obviously not ( Read more... )

I watched Young at Heart this afternoon - a documentary movie about a group of old people who perform in a chorus all kinds of music including really contemporary stuff. It was fantastic and I really recommend everyone watches it who wants to be cool when they're old, who has grandparents/older parents or who just want to watch a movie where you ( Read more... )

My week was such crap that why I thought Friday night would be any better I don't know.  But somehow the fact it was the end of week and there was a glass of wine in my hand made me think it would be... just like I always think that next year must be better than this... but somehow it never is... you'd think by now I'd be disillusioned but I'm not ( Read more... )

Time of Dying (Three Days Grace)

On the ground I lay
Motionless in pain
I can see my life flashing before my eyes
Dead I fall asleep
Is this all a dream
Wake me up
I'm living a nightmare

I will not die
I will survive
I will not die
I'll wait here for you
I feel alive when you're beside me
I will not die
I'll wait here for you
In my time of dying

On ( Read more... )

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there once lived a girl who loved you, and wishes it could have been different

A statement from my past - and one I've been thinking of a lot recently... I've decided that I'm not so good at learning from my past... I've often been pretty good at repeating the same - well maybe not mistakes - but the same things again and again even though it hurt ( Read more... )