ok seriously, next time your daycare is having an in-service day, drop me a line a couple weeks beforehand if you can't/don't want to take Josh to work with you. I've wrangled 2 babies over here more than once & I'm usually (not always, but most of the time) able to do so with a little notice.
also: I also notice that there is a deep seeded need in our culture to make women feel guilty, regardless of the choices they make. Kids/no kids, stay at home/have kid in daycare, married/single, blah/no blah, foo/bar. It's crazy.
True what you say about the guilt. Here I am, not here or there, kind of working but kind of not, somewhat expected to bring in money but not counted on to bring in money. It's a hard place to be in for certain. I know I couldn't go back to an office job after so many years away from it (and what I used to do was never a 40 hr/wk job anyway but more like 70 so that would be out of the question).
Do the best you can. If your situation changes then that's great. Otherwise you can only do what you can do.
wow, what a powerful entry. I too have had a lot of guilt from friends, family etc about me going back to work. As a nurse, and primary wage earner in my family, it still shocks me when people in my family would rather have my husband work 3 jobs, and "take care of the woman", than have me work and make twice as much. just when i think we are coming out of the dark ages, my family and friends remind me just how far we still have to come. I go back to work in 2 weeks, and am dreading it. Love reading your updates, as they brighten my day:) miss you
My mantra, at least for now... I'm gonna make the best choice for the situation as it stands. When the situation changes, I'll make a new choice. Do the best I can, don't kill anyone.
You have figured out the secret to sanity, my friend. :)
Also: So effin true about how women can't win according to society-at-large. So. Effin. True. I'll add that (in addition to the aforementioned patriarchy) some of the worst offenders here are other women. Women who gestated better than you, birthed more naturally than you, nursed longer than you, bonded with their kid more strongly than you, and are just all-around superior. ::shakes fist at internet::
oh lord YES. there was some loser on LJ who was the biggest mommy martyr of all time - she was 23 and had 3 special-needs kids (all had been ultra-premature and had the attendant health problems). Of course she was better/more AP/crunchier-than-thou. Fast-forward: she was arrested for attempted murder (Munchausen's by Proxy) - the hospital got her on hidden camera smearing shit into her youngest daughter's central line port, hence the continued horrendous systemwide infections and repeated hospitalizations.
I honestly call bullshit on the mommy-martyrdom I've seen both IRL and on the internets.
I also feel the guilt and the frustration. I am aso the rimary wage earner in my family and also have 2 jobs becuase in my two jobs i can make more money than my hubby could working more than three of his jobs. Yet I am still made to feel guilty about leaving my kids at daycare. I also almost went crazy when i was home with the first one for maternity leave for 9 week. But that is another story. The thing that makes me the craziest actually is Being a working 2 parent family and having peopel critisize me (not my hubby) becuase I can't keep the dang house clean. come on I work two jobs. I woudl so much rather spend time with my kids or sleep then clean my house. But a modern "feninized" woman, needs to be a super hero, Bring home the bacon, cook the bacon, wash up after the bacon...etc. All the same work as a 50's house wife and all the work of a 50's husband too. It is insane.
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also: I also notice that there is a deep seeded need in our culture to make women feel guilty, regardless of the choices they make. Kids/no kids, stay at home/have kid in daycare, married/single, blah/no blah, foo/bar. It's crazy.
O HAI THE PATRIARCHY.
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Yah, it's a total patriarchy issue, and not one that I was unaware of... but still.
gah!
*shakes fist at the patriarchy*
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Do the best you can. If your situation changes then that's great. Otherwise you can only do what you can do.
*hugs*
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just when i think we are coming out of the dark ages, my family and friends remind me just how far we still have to come. I go back to work in 2 weeks, and am dreading it. Love reading your updates, as they brighten my day:) miss you
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Enjoy your time at home with the baby, but know that you are making the best choice *for you* to go forth with your career.
*hugs*
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You have figured out the secret to sanity, my friend. :)
Also: So effin true about how women can't win according to society-at-large. So. Effin. True. I'll add that (in addition to the aforementioned patriarchy) some of the worst offenders here are other women. Women who gestated better than you, birthed more naturally than you, nursed longer than you, bonded with their kid more strongly than you, and are just all-around superior. ::shakes fist at internet::
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(one of my pet peeves is mommy martyrdom)
We are our own worst enemies, I believe.
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I honestly call bullshit on the mommy-martyrdom I've seen both IRL and on the internets.
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talk about *pathological*....
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*hugs*
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