Love in the Time of Coronavirus
On Sunday, August 23, M and I got married. A brief timeline:
- We met online; our first date was Monday, March 3, 2014 when we had sushi at Pacific East and saw We Were Promised Jetpacks together at the Grog Shop. My friend Eric was at this show, so he's the first one of my friends to have met her.
- We broke up once briefly in 2014 and longer late in 2015. We got back together again for good in August 2016.
- She moved in April 17, 2019.
Conspicuous in its absence is a "we got engaged" date. We had long been planning to get married, but weren't in any particular hurry. It was basically "M was going to pick out a ring and then we'd worry about it." That was about to happen when the ongoing pandemic moved the engagement and the subsequent wedding date up and changed the nature of the ceremony dramatically.
Basically, M was informed that there's a high percentage chance she will be unemployed soon for pandemic related reasons. We promptly scheduled a wedding even sans engagement ring, because this is not a good time to be without health insurance. In other words, we got married for love and timed it for health insurance. However, it's also not a good time to gather in groups. How did we resolve this challenge? We got married via Zoom, the videoconferencing tool that went from enterprise tool to household name during the pandemic.
Our officiant was my cousin's wife Allison, who is a local rabbi. I asked if she was interested in knocking "conduct zoom wedding" off her rabbinical bucket list, and happily she was. We (ok, M) built a huppah in our living room. It was built on a PVC pipe frame with white table clothes, tulle, electric lights and an assortment of home made felt flower M prepared over the previous several weeks. The whole thing was held together by safety pins, velcro and hot glue. In comparison, the ketubah was much less of a challenge, but how would the witnesses (my fraternity brother John and M's friend Amber) sign it? We got rubber stamps made with their signatures so we could stamp the ketubah at the appropriate time.
We got married at 2pm on a Sunday, which is not so coincidentally the time my radio show was for the last 17 years before it ran afoul of the pandemic. Everybody joined remotely, but at least they got a good camera angle. We mounted an iPad holder on a camera tripod and bought a ring light to illuminate everything. The net result was that our audience was able to see us facing them instead of our backs from distant pews. We did the usual (ketubah, wine, rings, the seven blessings, light bulbs).
M wore a white dress she got for $37 online and I wore my suit. I did not wear a tie. Both of us wore practical shoes for light bulb stomping. M was the first bride our rabbi ever had who wanted to stomp a light bulb, by the way.
After the wedding, we chatted with guests. Just like an in person wedding, it wasn't possible to chat with everybody who attended, especially with everyone on a zoom call. Thanks to everyone who attended, and we hope to see you soon. Also like an in person wedding, attendance was capped by the limits of the synagogue's zoom account at 100, so we're sorry and we love you to everyone who we didn't invite. We leaned the guest list heavily towards M's friends and family since my friends and family already got to see me get married once before - that and we threw it together on about 6 weeks notice, with the invites going out 2 weeks before the wedding.
With everything complete, we had a nice dinner at home. It included Oreo ice cream cake and cupcakes. I took Monday off and we did pretty much nothing at all. It was glorious.
- We met online; our first date was Monday, March 3, 2014 when we had sushi at Pacific East and saw We Were Promised Jetpacks together at the Grog Shop. My friend Eric was at this show, so he's the first one of my friends to have met her.
- We broke up once briefly in 2014 and longer late in 2015. We got back together again for good in August 2016.
- She moved in April 17, 2019.
Conspicuous in its absence is a "we got engaged" date. We had long been planning to get married, but weren't in any particular hurry. It was basically "M was going to pick out a ring and then we'd worry about it." That was about to happen when the ongoing pandemic moved the engagement and the subsequent wedding date up and changed the nature of the ceremony dramatically.
Basically, M was informed that there's a high percentage chance she will be unemployed soon for pandemic related reasons. We promptly scheduled a wedding even sans engagement ring, because this is not a good time to be without health insurance. In other words, we got married for love and timed it for health insurance. However, it's also not a good time to gather in groups. How did we resolve this challenge? We got married via Zoom, the videoconferencing tool that went from enterprise tool to household name during the pandemic.
Our officiant was my cousin's wife Allison, who is a local rabbi. I asked if she was interested in knocking "conduct zoom wedding" off her rabbinical bucket list, and happily she was. We (ok, M) built a huppah in our living room. It was built on a PVC pipe frame with white table clothes, tulle, electric lights and an assortment of home made felt flower M prepared over the previous several weeks. The whole thing was held together by safety pins, velcro and hot glue. In comparison, the ketubah was much less of a challenge, but how would the witnesses (my fraternity brother John and M's friend Amber) sign it? We got rubber stamps made with their signatures so we could stamp the ketubah at the appropriate time.
We got married at 2pm on a Sunday, which is not so coincidentally the time my radio show was for the last 17 years before it ran afoul of the pandemic. Everybody joined remotely, but at least they got a good camera angle. We mounted an iPad holder on a camera tripod and bought a ring light to illuminate everything. The net result was that our audience was able to see us facing them instead of our backs from distant pews. We did the usual (ketubah, wine, rings, the seven blessings, light bulbs).
M wore a white dress she got for $37 online and I wore my suit. I did not wear a tie. Both of us wore practical shoes for light bulb stomping. M was the first bride our rabbi ever had who wanted to stomp a light bulb, by the way.
After the wedding, we chatted with guests. Just like an in person wedding, it wasn't possible to chat with everybody who attended, especially with everyone on a zoom call. Thanks to everyone who attended, and we hope to see you soon. Also like an in person wedding, attendance was capped by the limits of the synagogue's zoom account at 100, so we're sorry and we love you to everyone who we didn't invite. We leaned the guest list heavily towards M's friends and family since my friends and family already got to see me get married once before - that and we threw it together on about 6 weeks notice, with the invites going out 2 weeks before the wedding.
With everything complete, we had a nice dinner at home. It included Oreo ice cream cake and cupcakes. I took Monday off and we did pretty much nothing at all. It was glorious.