I'm so confused.
You tell me you love me. You say the sweetest things. You can be so sensitive, so caring. You say all the right things.
"Even when I can't be with you in body, I am always there in heart and mind."
You're right. Maybe I wanted too much Maybe I saw a future. This could be true. But my truth also stands that I didn't realize it when ( Read more... )

Friday the 13th couldn't hold a candle to Friday the 6th.
But you redeemed yourself, or so I thought.
You can't tell me that nothing's changed when you feel like a stranger.
Everything is different.
You've stopped calling me babe. You barely speak to me. You seem cold.

I asked you to be honest. To please not leave me in the dark about what is going ( Read more... )

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life ( Read more... )

I still feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. At any moment I could break down crying, or screaming, or just break down. I hate feeling like this, but that's understandable. Who would want this life? I think I finally got J. to understand the severity of my situation here. I live with an underlying constant sense of anxiety, and then when life ( Read more... )

I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I feel like I have nothing left. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing period. I don't know where this came from and worse, I don't know when it will end. I hate this feeling. My heart races... I can't concentrate... I can't breathe. I wish I could be normal and cry and feel better but such is life and I can't ( Read more... )

First things first... I need to quit drinking, and possibly forever. This shit is not working out for me. I used to be able to drink myself stupid for days on end without really feeling like it was affecting me. Now when I drink too much, I need an entire day to recover. I'm over this. I am risking too much- my friends, my freedom, my money, my job ( Read more... )

What am I getting myself into now? Better said, who am I letting in this time ( Read more... )

It never changes. Ever. He broke my bedroom door last nite. He came after me because I took a shower. Or something.  It could have been anything, He can never apologize. He doesn't know how to. He's so scared to admit that he's not perfect, that sometimes he doesn't feel like he's good enough. It's been the some battle my entire life. He's a ( Read more... )

I am supposed to start a new job tomorrow. I real, big girl job. Supposed is the million dollar word in that sentence. There's just so much about the job that I couldn't handle. It's a factory job, and I am not a factory type worker. I thought it might be a good thing because I have reservations about sitting behind a desk all day. But I would ( Read more... )

Maybe.
I still feel like shit most of the time. 
Birth control makes me fat.
and depressed.
But I am working again and making money. 
I paid my first bill in week today. = ) 
Whoever would have thought that paying a bill would make me smile.

I met a girl. 
Red curly hair. Innocent face. Creative. Proud. Small.  
She flirts aggressively. 
And calls me coy.
I ( Read more... )