Who ever said that clean breaks are the best? What if I want to keep up a tangled and painful non-relationship with someone who continually breaks my heart - what if I like being an emotional masochist?

Tomorrow is my birthday. It doesn’t matter how old I am; I’m old enough to know that owing up to my age may come to bite me in the ass sooner or ( Read more... )

Some days the present is too hard to write about. Maybe it’s just because I am still living in the past. Isolated incidents are recalled to the surface of my memory on days like these - by these, I mean days that are cold and dreary, where all I want is a rum and cider and a fireplace and a pair of arms to wrap around me. Today the wind blew my hat ( Read more... )

Hey baby, or something like that ( Read more... )

The urge to vomit usually comes quickly, violently - a wrenching of the stomach, a forceful motion that at once draws you back and hurls your insides forward with incredible momentum. I hate vomiting. It’s such a vile position to be in: praying to the porcelain gods ( Read more... )

When I was a teenager, I was always mesmerized by commercials for Wonderbras and the idea of “lifting and separating.” I couldn’t wait to get my own Wonderbra, particularly because I was a bit of a later bloomer. While all of my friends were graduating from training bras to real bras with lace trim and cute little bows, I was thinking “when am I ( Read more... )

I am thoroughly looking forward to a well-deserved drink tonight at Easter dinner with my family: just me, my parents, and my idiotic older brother with TV dinners and a good movie. I haven’t had a drink in a week. Nearly two weeks: 13 days exactly. Aren’t you proud of me? (I started marking the days with a steak knife on the doorframe in my ( Read more... )

I have been having rather disturbing dreams lately. Most recently, I dreamed that I was being chased by gorgeous men. Sounds like a good thing, right? But after the gorgeous men would catch me, and had me under their spell, they would transform into women wearing tutus and combat boots. Wearing crocheted ponchos. With side ponytails. And then ( Read more... )

Briefly, in college, I was a lesbian. I was just experimenting; it was nothing serious or permanent. I mention it now only because in the past two weeks, I have been approached and hit on by multiple women, and I just feel like I need to get it out there for all to know. [But mainly, I say this here because it’s not like any of you reading this ( Read more... )

If there is one thing that I've learned, it's not to lose sight of your goal.  Don't let fleeting passions redirect your path to some alternate and ultimately desolate path.  Resist temptation -- yes, it sounds so hypocritical coming from me, but it is true.  You just have to know which temptations to give in to and which to resist.  I call this ( Read more... )

February dawned in the most annoying way possible. I swear, I must have contemplated every manner of suicide possible, including death by bagel. Kara had indeed planned a quite a weekend for the two of us. Paradise by any other name. That is, it would have been paradise had I been with anyone but Kara. I love how sneaky she is, though - it is one ( Read more... )