I am tickled pink by the amazing speed with which juicy gossip comes full circle. Not two days after my encounter with Stephan, I received a phone call from Kara, regarding Stephan's nearing departure.

"Jamie you poor thing!"
"Hi, Kara. So nice of you to call me, in this my time of grief."
[brief silence. I can hear her trying to figure out what I am ( Read more... )

I am in pain right now. Immense, self-consuming, intense pain. I just stubbed my toe on the corner of the door.  But that is not the cause of my pain -- my heart is breaking.  Again.

I went on the date with DreamBoy.  It was absolutely lovely -- the entire evening was perfect.  Dinner and dancing the night away.  DreamBoy is even more charming in ( Read more... )

I arrived early at our (former) favorite rendezvous spot -- I could not bear sitting at Hole in Wall in the presence of DreamBoy and talk about this.  I ordered. Large coffee of the day. Black. No sweetness, only bitter memories on this evening.

Friday -- date night. I decided to dress low-key, at least what I consider low-key. Black trousers with ( Read more... )

What is that feeling that comes over you when you know things have to change, that people have to go? Sadness -- perhaps singed with a bit of regret -- something indescribable. Finality, no less, and heart breaking, heart wrenching.  But things must change, he must go. Just part of his nature, ingrained from Day One.

Some people lead boring, ( Read more... )

Mistletoe is always my favorite part of Christmas - it presents the always coveted opportunity to kiss and be kissed by the cream of the crop…and then some (the possibility of getting unwanted kisses from frogs who will never turn into desirable princes, or even undesirable ones, is worth the risk, though - and enough alcohol will usually make any ( Read more... )

Holy shit, Christmas is one week away. Good thing I've got plans already...excluding Stephan, the Brit, Kara and her posse! Finally some drama-free time. Leaving tonight for Aspen, Colorado, and it is going to be excellent. Skiing, cuddling in front of a cozy fire....

Every year, I get together at this lovely ski resort in Colorado with a group ( Read more... )

foil wrappers crinkle quietly
my heart begins silently to break
and all I can do is sit and wait

//KiLL

the history: part iii
On July 17, three days after Stephan's 24th birthday, we signed the lease on a gorgeous mid-town apartment, with working elevators and a doorman. Granted, it was a four room loft, with a perfect view of the brick building next door, but it was home. No pets; I've never been an animal person.

When I was a teenager, I was ( Read more... )

Stephan and I attended Kara's first dinner party with Warren. It was a gloriously lovely affair. I made a point to present myself in such a way that I had to be the belle of the ball -- if I was about to be interrogated on the state of my "love" life, then I had better look divine, for the expression on my face, I assure you, was anything but. One ( Read more... )

Women wear nice clothes, do their hair and makeup, and buy sexy underwear regardless of whether they have a man in their life. Your boyfriend is not going to notice that you are wearing the latest Marc Jacobs dress or that your new necklace is from Tiffany's or that you are carrying the limited edition Coach bag. All they notice is that this dress ( Read more... )