I did some big binge and purge today. fuck!

better I don't say what happened in these days. Probably i called to much the death...and i've been punished for this. It was something like the end of my life i saw all myself at the end and i PRAYED,i PRAYED to live some more.I had a bad bad panic attac so that my hand were paralized i thought i had an heart failure. My parents were so worried. ( Read more... )

I thought i would have died two days ago,i had a bad bad panic crisis and maybe some medicine were wrong and i went to the hopital i really looked like semi-died. I prayed for not and I promied that if I were alive I would have recover from my bulimia. Now I must keep strong,now I must. I've gained weight this morning,for yesterday i did not vomit ( Read more... )

i know everyone around want me to recover,my psyco called me,my doct called me,my parents cry, i can only look at the mirror and see all this shit i am. i wonder what do i have in my stomach to be so big. i just....dont want to live anymore...just let me go away.... why dont they let me if is WHAT i allmost wish. i'm not happy. they made me this ( Read more... )

what i did.... the hospital has just called me to recover and i said... NO...my god i sais No for i was scared. I'm so stupid. I mean,i dont want to get better? the row truth is not,i jut want....nothing.... i will stay at home everyday crying and eating and crying and sleeping and purging and purging and my life will end this way. this fucked way ( Read more... )

Omg my stomach i so gross and-shit- full of fat. I really feel i'm a disaster. I don't have the wish to live anymore

I think I have no goals in my life. I think my life is really SHIT. I jut pray to die tonight and forget....forget about ME.

Oh my god i wish this thing goes..... plz...

Well this is my new journal in english so that is compatible with my domain site http://dandylicious.it. The only thing is in my mind at the moment is that i am damn FAT and there is no way things wouldnt change. I would die instead of being so fat. I hate,I hate,I hate. And I feel sick.