ugh, I just want to curl up into a ball. Its just not worth getting upset over anymore. The hole is still there, its not going to fade that fast. I started to change myself, but emotionally i will always be the same. Easy to love but always having a hell of a time getting over people. Getiing over steph is both getting easier and harder. I started ( Read more... )

Let me just put myself out of my misery seriously, its been 2 weeks. I just can't live with pain like this emotionally, I just can't stand it, I hit the proverbial rock bottom everyone hits eventually. I just can't take it anymore. All thats holding me is friends and promises. Besides that im at the breaking point, I can take no more

If it wasn't for those who watched me, and kept on pushing me, and prodding me about everything. And the promise I made to my father as well. I would be dead simply put. It would give me no greater joy to put my pathetically simple congenial life out of this world and send my spirit hurtiling back to my maker wherever he may exist. But no one would ( Read more... )

Its so much easier to hate than to love, sad, stereotypical, but oddly enough utterly refreshing in a way as well, Im starting to like it

I don't want to be in love anymore, I hate it, I hate the pain it brings.

Well things are slowly getting better while thinking about it. I told steph the one thing that I needed to get out of my system eventually: "Be happy, have fun, even if its not with me". The last week I have been living in the past like my relationship was still alive somewhere with barely a pulse when in reality the funeral was already over and ( Read more... )

Have any of you out there ever have someone that you absolutely loved and cared for without question? that you would do anything for without the slightest thought for yourself. Its been a week since I lost that person for me. No amount of hearing from friends what may have happened even cheers me up. I can put on the facade and the face that I am ( Read more... )

I stopped feeling so down lately, I really have. It got replaced with everything else in my life right now. The me trying to feel better about steph thing kinda took a different turn a few nights ago when 3 very close friends told me some things that had happened during our relationship. So now I don't even feel the slightest bit of remorse at all ( Read more... )

This sucks, all the journal entries I have mae lately all sound the same, they all sound like the same emo broken ass record. But I can't get the girl off my mind, I can't get her out of it for the most part. Thing are so complicated, emotions and things, and there are so many damn strings attached, I can't even talk to her or even look at a ( Read more... )

Drove around for most of today, skipped D&D, and will probably go to the Bean tommarrow. Things are lonely right now, and even the streets around here hold a shade of disdain for the disheartened.