tried to play it cool and not say a word,
but seeing her turned my whole day to shit.//

it appears that my cover has been blown.//

i hate my head, but i think id look ugly without it, so i guess theres nothing i can do.

spent time on the phone today. i hate the phone.
but i didnt mind it so much.

nina called. convinced me to have a little drink. i dont like to drink, but whatever. compromising myself is always cool.

hung out with her, jenn, jens, & jessie, which was fun.

stayed up late hating myself for no particular reason last night. that was pretty fun ( Read more... )

but hey who cares, i mean we all play some games,but we're past pretending so why not just give it up, we dont have to be anything at all& that seems easy enough. a change of names, a change of secenery is in order. time for building bridges instead of burning. ill take it easy at least for a bit, &spend my tima caring about nothing at all ( Read more... )

far too many self deprecating and pessimistic thoughts have been plaging me these past few weeks. things i cant seem to shake, and i really wish i could put it into much prettier words than just 'fuck you erika'(ill be the first to admit that was childish, i apologize), but i cant seem to piece it all together. im doing my best at this point to ( Read more... )

a multitude of emotions,
none of them uplifting,
ive never been so hurt, sad, crushed or rejected
in my 19 years.

fuck you erika.//

I only wish that this could be
Just dump your boyfriend and go out with me
I swear I'd treat you like a queen.//

why cant you see you torture me?
when youre already thinking about someone else
when he comes home, youll be in his arms and ill be gone,
but i know my day will come,
i know someday ill be the only one.//