This idiotic war does not matter at all to me. Mordor does not get involved in wars these days. At least not when the Valar are in one of their haha-isn't-karma-funny? phases. But, since the transvestite or her mother will probably get upset if I just let this all go by, I'm sending a shitload of orcs to Dol Amroth. Have fun, kids ( Read more... )

My usual mun has been back for a while now, but she hasn't let me post. The reason for this is, of course, that she feels inadequate when compared to my temporary mun. Which she should. However, I have coaxed (read: chased) her out from underneath her couch so I could let y'all know what is up with your neighbourhood Lord of Darkness ( Read more... )

Faramir, I do not want you back.

Snaga, I hope you sue the fucker for everything he has. No hard feelings, Sam.

My little precious.. you.. I.. I miss you.

And I'll save you the trouble. No.

Mordor is completely free and independent of this.. PENIS. Or that SNATCH thing.

You leave me alone, I don't try and bring about darkness again.

And no, I will not be inserting some cheap PENIS pun here.

Mostly because I can't think of one.

This is the most pathetic thing I've ever seen since the time it came barging in here with a sword, or since that other hobbit who looks just like it tried to destroy my ring. (Don't they have designs for new ones? Or do they clone them nowadays ( Read more... )

Yes.

Yes, I know now what I must do.

I must kill this before it is fully grown once again.

I must not let it develop... it will not break my heart.. um, kill my orcs again.

*snaps pencil menacingly*

Ha hahahahahha!

I got my monthly issue of Terror & Torture magazine today. It had an interview with Dracula in it, plus a giant double spread of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I was so excited, I giggled like a schoolgirl ( Read more... )

Right now, I am sitting in my evil high backed office chair. I am smoking an evil cigar. I am stroking my evil kitten. I am handing out evil orders to evil orcs. I am evilly playing Evil Minesweeper. I am thinking about Goldberry's towel dress. I am evilly posting a missing persons report for Shelob. I am thinking evil thoughts ( Read more... )

So, Sauron has a temporary new mun.

I feel odd in here.

Anyhow, if your beloved Dark Lord undergoes any odd changes or suddenly says 'Yay!!' a lot, do not fret.

The owner will kick me out of this puppet soon and return you to your regular wittily evil broadcast.

Thank you.

Hello, children. Sauron here, your local lord of all things evil. Sorry I haven't posted--well, no I'm not. I've been very busy. With Goldberry gone helping the hopeless, I've had lots of time to work on my book. It's coming a bit slowly at the moment--mostly because I insist on writing everything in blood. Just because no one else has ( Read more... )