Youve hurt me.
You promised you wouldnt but you have repeatedly. You said you would be different. You wouldnt be like everyone else but thats a lie. If it wasnt yiu wouldnt be doing the things you have lately. You wouldnt be breaking everything and leaving me in ashes.

Do you even care.
Does it even matter.
Somehow I dont think so.
Your actions say ( Read more... )

Your words used to matter. They used to mean something but they dont any more. Im so tired of all the bullshit and back stabbing. From people who claim to love me and say they always have my back..

The only one who does is me and I dont even wwnt to be here anymore. I dont want to be in this world anymore.

I really feel like my world is filled with lies and bullshit people who cant or wont be real. So I seriously wonder why I stay here. The good doesnt out weight the bad anymore.

People keep asking me whats wrong. Its life people. My moods change to quick to keep up with most of the time anymore. My mind goes a hundred miles an hour no matter what Im doing. Im trying not to think and its just not happening. I would love to just let go and not think but there arent enough drugs in the world to stop it right now.

Its Ellie a ( Read more... )

If i have to hear one more time about me not being able yo keep my mouth shut Im going to punch someone in the face..

And why do you get to bitch about the house being a mess and shit being left out but Im cleaning up after you all the time..

So not happy right now and really sick of everyone.

Time used to be we were together.
Now we are scattered like the winds.
Im not gonna lie. It hurts like hell.

How do you put away the bad memories of the last two years..How do you forget what was and think about what could be..Questions I keep asking myself today because there is just to much going on..

Memories of Ellie..Thoughts of whats coning with finding out my brain could be screwed up from this last surgery..What if its more than the meds screwing ( Read more... )

People who live in them shouldnt throw stones. If your innocent of no wrong doing then you can judge me. Until then shut the fuck up.

Im not going to apologize for something I wanted to do. It doesnt effect you so shut up. My life, my choice. I havent always agreed with yours. Fuck I havent agreed with a lot of yiur choices but I dont intentionally ( Read more... )

Ive been sttuggling all day because of Ellie. I keep trying but thr one thing I wanted today I didnt get. I wanted to see our grandson and just spend some time with him. I wanted to just be with him and read The Night Before Christmas to him.

It really was just the one thing I wanted to do. Start the tradition. I read it last year and ge was so ( Read more... )

So I find myself needing you again. Like an old friend that is just there no matter what. You my LJ are that friend. I dont have to worry. Im not going to be judged. I can just pour my soul here and be done with it.

Ive missed you. Rather like I miss my diarylqnd but this holds more. Diaryland is a time that was filled with the spirtual side of my ( Read more... )