its a new week and its been a while since i posted. I've been feeling pretty shitty about Alex's work situation but I guess I just needed to cool down. Also finding out why he ditched me that night helped alot, although him ditching me two days later because he "forgot" was kind of odd, but I trust him wholly.
I'm doing much better now and dealing ( Read more... )

God, this day is so shitty. I guess to sum up alot of what's happened, i'm at NIU, I have yet to find out whether I've been accepted into the school of music, I am going out with Alex Lemke, and this weekend sucks. Alex ditched me on our dinner date yesterday and I dont know why, but im heavily upset. I feel like maybe I'm in the wrong for being so ( Read more... )

I know i havent updated in a while, but ill try to sum up for myself what i did in the time i havent written ( Read more... )

Little by little, my life seems to be getting back to "normal" and life seems to be good. I cant say, that in the past 2 weeks i havent changed alot, well, if i am to mention the past 2 weeks, i shouldve just said the past few months. This problem got me down for so long, and it feels so horrible knowing I did have a problem, but thank Jah, today ( Read more... )

In situations of absolute desolation, my soul cries out and it beckons for an answer not too quickly given. The oporunities once present have always been fleeting and almost as if they were wightless. I can only imagine the things to come and I brace myself for the consequences of others' actions which i find myself completely vulnurable to. What ( Read more... )

Well, Ive been sober for 3 days which i guess is an accomplishment, but again, as I already know, the 3 day mark brings back the flashbacks which i HATE SO MUCH!! Oh well, once i get through em I wont have to worry about em nemore. Well, I hope i can find a coffee grinder for those seeds. I cant wait to try them. Well, life this week has been ( Read more... )

To even begin to explain what I feel and what has happened would take all the best scientists in the world. Isnt it crazy how life can go so good for such a long time and then come back and bite you in the ass? Its just nuts. It sucks how bad i hate and fear change which is what causes me to get hurt so much but truly, what can i do? Nothing. Mom's ( Read more... )

Fuck my family, fuck my mom, fuck my sister, fuck my dad, FUCK EVERYTHING! Everyone and everything can all go to hell. Fuck whatever they have to say and want to do, I couldnt give a FLYING FUCK! They can all just turn around and fuck themselves for all I care

Well, things seem to be getting better, finally. I mean, its not really that anything happened to make everything better, its just, i dunno, I guess I just decided to forget my troubles and how bad they may be, I mean, shit, what am I gonna accomplish dwelling on them all the time? I have a real cool sense of accomplishment. I sorta got my dad to ( Read more... )

Shit doesnt seem to be getting any better, but at least it cant get much worse. I probly shouldnt say that thou, cuz it could very possibly get worse. now that mom and my sis are in Texas, EVERYTHING is fucked up. even worse than before. I think to compensate, Im gonna drink myself stupid tonite